So this week...we're having our driveway redone, and new windows put in.
So this week...I've been hiding in my basement, avoiding the chaos.
Only this week...the weather has been pretty nice...and I haven't had much opportunity to enjoy it.
I enjoyed the sun for a few minutes this afternoon while I waited for my mom to pick me up.
I went to the bank and got my new credit card. Since they sent my new one to the wrong address. 4 days after I had changed my address to the Ontario one. Good job, good job.
Anyways, I have a credit card again, so the plans for Europe must continue!
Oh! The other day I got Ben and Teri's wedding invitation...and I'm totally going to be in A'dam then (according to my current plans)!! Hoera!
And...now I'm back to reading and writing my life away.
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Monday, May 26, 2008
.happenings in the sound.
It's been almost a month since I last wrote...so I decided that even though I don't have much to say, I should probably say something!
I'm back in OS...it's the same as ever. Very pretty. Not a lot of people.
Roz and I went to the Drive-In the other day to see Prince Caspian...because our regular theatre is too small to be playing it...haha
I'm reading and writing and reading and writing and will hopefully have read 4 books and written 4 papers by June 7...which gives me a few days to actually finish, and to pack before leaving for Europe on June 13!
Roz and I fly out of Toronto, and dip into Montreal to pick up BethL on our way to London. And then to Rome...and around...
Pretty much, I am really excited. And I really want to see lots of old friends in and around Amsterdam (and also Tina!!!)...so...let's make it happen!
Ok, well, that's all I've got for now...back to my paper!
I'm back in OS...it's the same as ever. Very pretty. Not a lot of people.
Roz and I went to the Drive-In the other day to see Prince Caspian...because our regular theatre is too small to be playing it...haha
I'm reading and writing and reading and writing and will hopefully have read 4 books and written 4 papers by June 7...which gives me a few days to actually finish, and to pack before leaving for Europe on June 13!
Roz and I fly out of Toronto, and dip into Montreal to pick up BethL on our way to London. And then to Rome...and around...
Pretty much, I am really excited. And I really want to see lots of old friends in and around Amsterdam (and also Tina!!!)...so...let's make it happen!
Ok, well, that's all I've got for now...back to my paper!
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Do I look lost?
Today was such a beautiful day, I decided to enjoy it by taking a long walk. At church this evening we had a potluck, so the direction I first headed was to Safeway to get some food.
On my way there, a shiny black SUV pulled up beside me and the guy started talking to me. At first I thought he might want directions, but he was actually asking me where I was going, what I was doing, and if I wanted a ride. I told him I was going for a walk and did not want a ride. As I kept walking, he pulled up beside me again and asked me again if I wanted a ride. Again I refused, and then he pulled a u-turn and speedily drove away.
It was a little weird, but I tried to shrug it off as I continued to Safeway. Once there, I decided that cookies would be a good choice for the potluck because they wouldn't melt or wither or spoil in the warmth of the sun. I stood in the cookie aisle scanning my options, and a Safeway worker asked me if I needed any assistance. I politely declined his offer, grabbed some cookies, and headed to the drink aisle because I wanted an Arizona green tea with ginseng and honey. As I was walking down the aisle (not even standing still looking) andother worker asked me if I needed any help finding anything. I smiled and said I was fine, grabbed my iced tea, and returned down the aisle to check out. He told me to have a nice day and that he'd see me again soon. (Not likely buddy)
So at this point I wondered if people were just feeling friendly from the sunny weather, or if I had something on my person that indicated that I am lost and/or confused. Nonetheless, I continued on my journey and walked down the hill towards the river.
On the bridge there was a lovely bench overlooking the river, and so I sat and enjoyed the sunshine and people watching. Got a couple shots of some brothers having a snowball fight. Oh the irony of wearing t-shirts and having snowball fights at the same time. Anyways, while I was sitting there sipping my iced tea a shiny black truck drove by and a bunch of guys pretending to be dogs stuck their upper bodies out of the windows and thankfully I did not catch what they said.
On my way there, a shiny black SUV pulled up beside me and the guy started talking to me. At first I thought he might want directions, but he was actually asking me where I was going, what I was doing, and if I wanted a ride. I told him I was going for a walk and did not want a ride. As I kept walking, he pulled up beside me again and asked me again if I wanted a ride. Again I refused, and then he pulled a u-turn and speedily drove away.
It was a little weird, but I tried to shrug it off as I continued to Safeway. Once there, I decided that cookies would be a good choice for the potluck because they wouldn't melt or wither or spoil in the warmth of the sun. I stood in the cookie aisle scanning my options, and a Safeway worker asked me if I needed any assistance. I politely declined his offer, grabbed some cookies, and headed to the drink aisle because I wanted an Arizona green tea with ginseng and honey. As I was walking down the aisle (not even standing still looking) andother worker asked me if I needed any help finding anything. I smiled and said I was fine, grabbed my iced tea, and returned down the aisle to check out. He told me to have a nice day and that he'd see me again soon. (Not likely buddy)
So at this point I wondered if people were just feeling friendly from the sunny weather, or if I had something on my person that indicated that I am lost and/or confused. Nonetheless, I continued on my journey and walked down the hill towards the river.
On the bridge there was a lovely bench overlooking the river, and so I sat and enjoyed the sunshine and people watching. Got a couple shots of some brothers having a snowball fight. Oh the irony of wearing t-shirts and having snowball fights at the same time. Anyways, while I was sitting there sipping my iced tea a shiny black truck drove by and a bunch of guys pretending to be dogs stuck their upper bodies out of the windows and thankfully I did not catch what they said.
Unfortunately my stay in the park was shortened because I had forgotten to take into account the fact that tea makes me pee. So I continued my journey to the church, where I knew I could use the facilities. Since I was very early, I decided I would visit the house I'm hoping to move into in the fall to see if I could meet the landlady.
As I walked the few blocks over, a shiny black car pulled over and the two guys inside asked me where I was going, what I was doing, and if I wanted a ride. I responded that I was going for a walk, and no I did not want a ride anywhere. They pulled a u-turn and peeled off.
I continued to the house, and the landlady wasn't there, so I nipped over a block to see if Steve was home and to see if he thought I looked lost or if there was something odd looking about me today, but he was as bewildered as I.
Anyways, on a completely unrelated note, I graduated yesterday! I'll post some pictures soon on my other blog. I'm all packed up and mostly moved, and it's a bit of a strange feeling, but I've decided to enjoy this time of liminality. I fly back on Ontario on Tuesday, and it's a bit weird to think my time here is over (for now) but I didn't really say goodbye to anyone because, 1. I don't like goodbyes, and 2. I'm coming back in a few months.
Wednesday, April 09, 2008
Saturday, March 29, 2008
.in the midst.
I think that so often the cry of my heart is something that God has already begun.
As I was going to spiritual direction today I was praying that I would become more aware of God in the mundane of life. I noticed a squirrel with something it its mouth and was immediately comforted that if God can provide enough food for that squirrel during winter, how much more will he care for me. It was a simple, beautiful prayer.
Anyways, I would begin to bare my soul here, but I have way too much homework, so until next time, here's something to contemplate:
"man fully alive is the glory of God"
As I was going to spiritual direction today I was praying that I would become more aware of God in the mundane of life. I noticed a squirrel with something it its mouth and was immediately comforted that if God can provide enough food for that squirrel during winter, how much more will he care for me. It was a simple, beautiful prayer.
Anyways, I would begin to bare my soul here, but I have way too much homework, so until next time, here's something to contemplate:
"man fully alive is the glory of God"
Thursday, February 14, 2008
.irony.
I was just listening to a detective talk about sex crimes.
I was also munching on candy hearts.
I ate one that said "why wait" during a rape story.
sick.
also, I am now currently angry at Canadian law because our criminal code sucks regarding sexual assault. and you can get more time for drowning your cat than for anally raping someone.
I was also munching on candy hearts.
I ate one that said "why wait" during a rape story.
sick.
also, I am now currently angry at Canadian law because our criminal code sucks regarding sexual assault. and you can get more time for drowning your cat than for anally raping someone.
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
.a million parachutes.
Like a million parachutes
The snow's coming down
I'll lock up the front door
And turn the lights down
In the glow of the street lights
I see them descend
Like a million parachutes
Small men on a mission
I miss the warmth
And I miss the sun
I miss the ocean
I miss everyone
And I miss the bridges
That span across the bay
Tonight, it seems like ages ago
Like a million parachutes
the snow still falls
The dogs are asleep now
There's no one to call
I'll put on some records
And wait for the light
Under those million parachutes
Now a blanket of white.
I miss the warmth
I miss the sun
I miss the ocean
I miss everyone
And I miss the bridges
That span across the bay
Tonight, it seems like ages ago
~Sixpence None the Richer
The snow's coming down
I'll lock up the front door
And turn the lights down
In the glow of the street lights
I see them descend
Like a million parachutes
Small men on a mission
I miss the warmth
And I miss the sun
I miss the ocean
I miss everyone
And I miss the bridges
That span across the bay
Tonight, it seems like ages ago
Like a million parachutes
the snow still falls
The dogs are asleep now
There's no one to call
I'll put on some records
And wait for the light
Under those million parachutes
Now a blanket of white.
I miss the warmth
I miss the sun
I miss the ocean
I miss everyone
And I miss the bridges
That span across the bay
Tonight, it seems like ages ago
~Sixpence None the Richer
Thursday, January 31, 2008
.meh.
I've been feeling sort of melancholy lately.
I think part of it is the fact that it's January, cold, dark, and wintery. With no money for winter sports. And no toboggan.
Part of it is also due to needing to learn how to balance the heaviness I pick up from others by listening to their stories with surrendering it to God. Because I still have to take responsibility for my role, but I can't allow their burdens to crush me. And I'm not going to lie...they are breaking my heart. I do not think this is either a good thing or a bad thing. It's just the way it is.
Another part is my looming future...which is so completely uncertain. As uncomfortable as it is to be stressed out with massive amounts of work to do in grad school, there is still comfort in its familiarity, and its ability to keep "the real world" at bay. I guess part of me is afraid of what to do when I hit the real world, because I don't really know what it is I want. I have all these pieces of dreams that don't seem to make sense together, at least not yet.
I enjoy counselling and I think that I am gifted at it, and I'm definitely learning a lot (which is seriously needed) but I cannot see myself doing this full time. It is too draining and exhausting, and I need to do something else with my life too. So how stupid does that seem to take a grad degree for something I want to do part time or as a volunteer? But I am trusting that God has brought me here for a purpose, and I have already seen how helpful this is in my life and my interactions with others, the way I view the world, and my relationship with God. So it is totally worth it. But still doesn't solve my "future career" issues.
I also have some ideas for books floating around in my head and still have not found the time to really get writing. That's one of my goals for this year...to get a lot more written on that front. I don't know if I will ever be published, but I need to get these stories out of me and allow them to live their own lives, however far-spread that may or may not be. I think that writing can be a very vulnerable thing...and I wonder if I ever finish a book if I would have the courage to publish it...it would take so much work to get it ready for that, but I guess I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.
Then there's the whole "open an artsy cafe/bookstore" dream. My sister can have her art studio, maybe pottery, a place to teach kids art stuff, and it can be attached to this cafe/bookstore with a fireplace and cozy furniture with a gezellig atmosphere and room for live music...haha, yeah, dream on Megs. Meil says I should just have a room in the back where I can do my counselling, or spiritual direction or whatever. Hey, no one made any laws against dreaming...
Anyways, there is definitely a part of me that is ready to be done this whole school business and move on with life and remember what it was like to have friends and a social life, but there is another part of me that wants to stay safe and warm in this scholastic cocoon. But, let's be honest, I don't have a whole lot of choice in the matter...life goes on whether I want it to or not.
On my other blog I posted a song by Jackson Waters that echoes my heart right now...It is so true, and I love the honesty of the prayer, and am so thankful for God's response.
I think I tend to complicate things and think too much about details...at least lately I have been. And I know that I just need to trust; I just need to be the person God created me to be. So I'm learning how to be, and what that means for my life...and sometimes it's scary, because it's a very different way to live life.
But God's call really is simple, and I need to constantly keep that in the forefront of my mind.
I think part of it is the fact that it's January, cold, dark, and wintery. With no money for winter sports. And no toboggan.
Part of it is also due to needing to learn how to balance the heaviness I pick up from others by listening to their stories with surrendering it to God. Because I still have to take responsibility for my role, but I can't allow their burdens to crush me. And I'm not going to lie...they are breaking my heart. I do not think this is either a good thing or a bad thing. It's just the way it is.
Another part is my looming future...which is so completely uncertain. As uncomfortable as it is to be stressed out with massive amounts of work to do in grad school, there is still comfort in its familiarity, and its ability to keep "the real world" at bay. I guess part of me is afraid of what to do when I hit the real world, because I don't really know what it is I want. I have all these pieces of dreams that don't seem to make sense together, at least not yet.
I enjoy counselling and I think that I am gifted at it, and I'm definitely learning a lot (which is seriously needed) but I cannot see myself doing this full time. It is too draining and exhausting, and I need to do something else with my life too. So how stupid does that seem to take a grad degree for something I want to do part time or as a volunteer? But I am trusting that God has brought me here for a purpose, and I have already seen how helpful this is in my life and my interactions with others, the way I view the world, and my relationship with God. So it is totally worth it. But still doesn't solve my "future career" issues.
I also have some ideas for books floating around in my head and still have not found the time to really get writing. That's one of my goals for this year...to get a lot more written on that front. I don't know if I will ever be published, but I need to get these stories out of me and allow them to live their own lives, however far-spread that may or may not be. I think that writing can be a very vulnerable thing...and I wonder if I ever finish a book if I would have the courage to publish it...it would take so much work to get it ready for that, but I guess I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.
Then there's the whole "open an artsy cafe/bookstore" dream. My sister can have her art studio, maybe pottery, a place to teach kids art stuff, and it can be attached to this cafe/bookstore with a fireplace and cozy furniture with a gezellig atmosphere and room for live music...haha, yeah, dream on Megs. Meil says I should just have a room in the back where I can do my counselling, or spiritual direction or whatever. Hey, no one made any laws against dreaming...
Anyways, there is definitely a part of me that is ready to be done this whole school business and move on with life and remember what it was like to have friends and a social life, but there is another part of me that wants to stay safe and warm in this scholastic cocoon. But, let's be honest, I don't have a whole lot of choice in the matter...life goes on whether I want it to or not.
On my other blog I posted a song by Jackson Waters that echoes my heart right now...It is so true, and I love the honesty of the prayer, and am so thankful for God's response.
I think I tend to complicate things and think too much about details...at least lately I have been. And I know that I just need to trust; I just need to be the person God created me to be. So I'm learning how to be, and what that means for my life...and sometimes it's scary, because it's a very different way to live life.
But God's call really is simple, and I need to constantly keep that in the forefront of my mind.
Tuesday, January 08, 2008
Monday, January 07, 2008
first post of the new year goes to...
Banjo Man!
Ok, it's totally just coincidental that I haven't posted yet and he made me smile today and I felt like sharing, but whatever, props to him.
Today he said to me "Hey Darling! Happy New Year!" because I haven't seen him in 3 weeks.
On a completely unrelated note...I'm not really sure how I feel about it being 2008 already. Part of me is looking forward to what this year will bring, and part of me wants to be like superman and reverse the rotation of the earth to go back in time. But I am not superman, despite the fact that I have his costume...and so I must resign myself to going forward. Not that this is a bad thing; I do anticipate the journey of this year and the adventures it will hold...but maybe I'm feeling a little apprehensive about the mystery of it all. In any case, it is 2008 and classes have begun again and so has the frenzy of trying to get everything done in the small periods of available time.
A dear friend of mine gave me a journal which says on the cover "if you wish to be writer, write!" and I am encouraged once again to actually start writing more. Not for school, not for my blog, not for anyone else...and I am excited to see what will unfold.
And, already I have had some significant conversations this year. One was with a guy on a plane. We talked about spiritual direction, how to live peacefully, and Shane Claiborne's Irresistible Revolution. I was reminded of my old prayer that I would pray whenever I would travel or fly somewhere that I would have the opportunity to speak grace and truth into the life of another for God's glory. I haven't prayed that prayer in a while, and yet God gently reminded me of it by answering it before I thought to pray it myself. I am humbled and grateful...so grateful that God does not forget the prayers of my heart even if I occasionally lose sight of them.
And, already, I have been struck by the temporary nature of this world. A friend of mine experienced a traumatic experience on New Year's...she watched her apartment burn down. Nothing was salvageable, and while she had excellent insurance she currently has nothing. Of course, people are donating things to her so she can brush her teeth and change her clothes and stuff, but her two cats both died in the fire and all of her possessions have been ruined. Definitely not a pleasant welcome into the year 2008 for her, and yet she is not in despair. Maybe she's still in shock and reality hasn't quite kicked in, but I believe it's also due to her faith in God. I wonder what my reaction would be if I had been in a similar situation. I don't know, it's a good reminder for me to check my priorities.
Well, I think that's all I have to say today...I hope that you are experiencing God's blessings already this year in unique ways.
Ok, it's totally just coincidental that I haven't posted yet and he made me smile today and I felt like sharing, but whatever, props to him.
Today he said to me "Hey Darling! Happy New Year!" because I haven't seen him in 3 weeks.
On a completely unrelated note...I'm not really sure how I feel about it being 2008 already. Part of me is looking forward to what this year will bring, and part of me wants to be like superman and reverse the rotation of the earth to go back in time. But I am not superman, despite the fact that I have his costume...and so I must resign myself to going forward. Not that this is a bad thing; I do anticipate the journey of this year and the adventures it will hold...but maybe I'm feeling a little apprehensive about the mystery of it all. In any case, it is 2008 and classes have begun again and so has the frenzy of trying to get everything done in the small periods of available time.
A dear friend of mine gave me a journal which says on the cover "if you wish to be writer, write!" and I am encouraged once again to actually start writing more. Not for school, not for my blog, not for anyone else...and I am excited to see what will unfold.
And, already I have had some significant conversations this year. One was with a guy on a plane. We talked about spiritual direction, how to live peacefully, and Shane Claiborne's Irresistible Revolution. I was reminded of my old prayer that I would pray whenever I would travel or fly somewhere that I would have the opportunity to speak grace and truth into the life of another for God's glory. I haven't prayed that prayer in a while, and yet God gently reminded me of it by answering it before I thought to pray it myself. I am humbled and grateful...so grateful that God does not forget the prayers of my heart even if I occasionally lose sight of them.
And, already, I have been struck by the temporary nature of this world. A friend of mine experienced a traumatic experience on New Year's...she watched her apartment burn down. Nothing was salvageable, and while she had excellent insurance she currently has nothing. Of course, people are donating things to her so she can brush her teeth and change her clothes and stuff, but her two cats both died in the fire and all of her possessions have been ruined. Definitely not a pleasant welcome into the year 2008 for her, and yet she is not in despair. Maybe she's still in shock and reality hasn't quite kicked in, but I believe it's also due to her faith in God. I wonder what my reaction would be if I had been in a similar situation. I don't know, it's a good reminder for me to check my priorities.
Well, I think that's all I have to say today...I hope that you are experiencing God's blessings already this year in unique ways.
Friday, December 21, 2007
even though I said this break would be reading-free...
This afternoon I read The Shack by William P. Young and I would recommend that you read it.
Now.
Now.
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
.home.
I'm back!
And the ground is covered with over a foot of snow. Although it was kind of rainy today, so it's very compressed. I took a picture of it on my back deck actually, so I'll post it on here soon.
My mom made some shortbread and I'm not gonna lie...hers is so much better than mine. Same recipe though. But hers just totally melts in your mouth...I'm just going to say it's because she has an electric mixer and I don't. I know, it's a really lame excuse, but I'm going with it.
Right now I am eating ice cream. I know, it's a rare thing for me...but it's vanilla with blueberry ripple plus pomegranate sorbet mixed in. Amazing, eh? Not quite as good as that raspberry cheesecake something or other I had this summer at the ice cream place, but pretty good nonetheless.
I have just finished writing my last two papers of the semester (I know, I'm a ridiculous procrastinator, but I am quite pleased with how they've turned out!) and I am enjoying this incredible, RARE sense of freedom! What shall I do with myself?
Well, actually, my schedule is quite full and not quite as relaxing as I would have hoped, but it's ok. Tomorrow I'm going to visit my grandma in Toronto with my mom, and possibly go skating with my brother (depending on when my mom and I go/come back).
Also, my bro and I are going to watch every episode of Chuck this break, which we've already gotten a pretty good start on...
My sister and bro-in-law are coming up for the weekend, so we'll have our family Christmas early. I guess I had better make my cards ASAP! At least everything else is done...
Also, BethL is in town for a few days so I think she, Roz and I will be chillaxing together on Saturday for some portion of the day.
So...that's a look at my next few days because I probably won't be on here too frequently. Which is not that unusual for me anymore, but I never had any die-hard fans (not of the movies, of my blog) anyways, so there's less motivation for keeping up the blog.
And on that rambling note...I'm out!
And the ground is covered with over a foot of snow. Although it was kind of rainy today, so it's very compressed. I took a picture of it on my back deck actually, so I'll post it on here soon.
My mom made some shortbread and I'm not gonna lie...hers is so much better than mine. Same recipe though. But hers just totally melts in your mouth...I'm just going to say it's because she has an electric mixer and I don't. I know, it's a really lame excuse, but I'm going with it.
Right now I am eating ice cream. I know, it's a rare thing for me...but it's vanilla with blueberry ripple plus pomegranate sorbet mixed in. Amazing, eh? Not quite as good as that raspberry cheesecake something or other I had this summer at the ice cream place, but pretty good nonetheless.
I have just finished writing my last two papers of the semester (I know, I'm a ridiculous procrastinator, but I am quite pleased with how they've turned out!) and I am enjoying this incredible, RARE sense of freedom! What shall I do with myself?
Well, actually, my schedule is quite full and not quite as relaxing as I would have hoped, but it's ok. Tomorrow I'm going to visit my grandma in Toronto with my mom, and possibly go skating with my brother (depending on when my mom and I go/come back).
Also, my bro and I are going to watch every episode of Chuck this break, which we've already gotten a pretty good start on...
My sister and bro-in-law are coming up for the weekend, so we'll have our family Christmas early. I guess I had better make my cards ASAP! At least everything else is done...
Also, BethL is in town for a few days so I think she, Roz and I will be chillaxing together on Saturday for some portion of the day.
So...that's a look at my next few days because I probably won't be on here too frequently. Which is not that unusual for me anymore, but I never had any die-hard fans (not of the movies, of my blog) anyways, so there's less motivation for keeping up the blog.
And on that rambling note...I'm out!
Monday, December 10, 2007
It's beginning to feel a lot like Christmas...
and it's not just because of the snow.
Friday night I went to Handel's Messiah with some friends, and then to Steve and Luke's tree decorating party, and then on Saturday morning I had a Christmas party at the dorm and that night we had the Seminary Christmas party.
So 4 things in 2 days pretty much puts me in the Christmas mood.
Only, oh wait, I still have papers to write! must get back to that now...
Friday night I went to Handel's Messiah with some friends, and then to Steve and Luke's tree decorating party, and then on Saturday morning I had a Christmas party at the dorm and that night we had the Seminary Christmas party.
So 4 things in 2 days pretty much puts me in the Christmas mood.
Only, oh wait, I still have papers to write! must get back to that now...
Friday, December 07, 2007
.transit talk.
This morning as I was waiting for my bus, Jeremiah joined me and we chatted until the bus came.
Then I got on the bus, and my "bus buddy" was there. She is from New Brunswick and we met one day while waiting for a bus from Dalhousie. She works at the Calgary Tower, and we've bumped into each other 3 or 4 times now and always just chat about our lives and stuff. So that was kind of fun to "catch up" with her again.
Then when we were on the train fox tail guy totally made my day! He got on at a station and then leapt toward the door to open it again, stood in it for a second and then backed up. He totally opened it to make sure that some people were able to make it on the train. First of all this made me happy because everyone's always so closed off in their own little worlds and personal bubbles on transit that I was amazed that he noticed their need to get on the train. Secondly, they were homeless-looking people, and one of them was in a wheelchair. I loved that he extended this courtesy to these men.
On the way home today there was hardly anyone on the train, so I decided to take a little nap. In between University and Brentwood station a man appeared, sitting across from me, and said "Are you having a good day?" which startled me awake and I said "Yes" and then he asked "Have you missed your stop?" and I smiled and said "No" and then he disappeared again. Nice of him to check on me, I guess. Anyways, by the time I made it to Dalhousie, I was the only person on my entire train car. Weird.
Then I got on the bus, and my "bus buddy" was there. She is from New Brunswick and we met one day while waiting for a bus from Dalhousie. She works at the Calgary Tower, and we've bumped into each other 3 or 4 times now and always just chat about our lives and stuff. So that was kind of fun to "catch up" with her again.
Then when we were on the train fox tail guy totally made my day! He got on at a station and then leapt toward the door to open it again, stood in it for a second and then backed up. He totally opened it to make sure that some people were able to make it on the train. First of all this made me happy because everyone's always so closed off in their own little worlds and personal bubbles on transit that I was amazed that he noticed their need to get on the train. Secondly, they were homeless-looking people, and one of them was in a wheelchair. I loved that he extended this courtesy to these men.
On the way home today there was hardly anyone on the train, so I decided to take a little nap. In between University and Brentwood station a man appeared, sitting across from me, and said "Are you having a good day?" which startled me awake and I said "Yes" and then he asked "Have you missed your stop?" and I smiled and said "No" and then he disappeared again. Nice of him to check on me, I guess. Anyways, by the time I made it to Dalhousie, I was the only person on my entire train car. Weird.
Friday, November 30, 2007
.random tidbits.
The other day my counsellor told me that he thinks that if I had been born 30 or 40 years earlier and was Catholic I probably would have become a nun.
Yesterday I was helping a lady at the Pregnancy Centre find some clothes for her really cute baby girl, and so I kept her daughter occupied while she found stuff. She asked me if I liked kids, and I said yes, and then she said, "You need to get married and have some now!" and then she told me "You have a very nice body" and a little while later she said that again to Tina and me. I thought it was amusing.
Let's see, what else...um, I made chicken tonight and it was heel lekker, if I do say so myself. Very excited by the fact that I have leftovers.
Oh! I am apparently very good at crying on command. I was doing a role play at the Centre for Leah to practice, and I totally busted out the tears and had to break character to assure Barb and Leah that I was in fact acting and this really wasn't my story. Thankfully. It was quite the heartbreaking story. It may become a book someday actually...
Ok, I think that's all for now. I'm listening to Weezer's "Undone -the Sweater Song" right now which makes me happy.
The End.
Yesterday I was helping a lady at the Pregnancy Centre find some clothes for her really cute baby girl, and so I kept her daughter occupied while she found stuff. She asked me if I liked kids, and I said yes, and then she said, "You need to get married and have some now!" and then she told me "You have a very nice body" and a little while later she said that again to Tina and me. I thought it was amusing.
Let's see, what else...um, I made chicken tonight and it was heel lekker, if I do say so myself. Very excited by the fact that I have leftovers.
Oh! I am apparently very good at crying on command. I was doing a role play at the Centre for Leah to practice, and I totally busted out the tears and had to break character to assure Barb and Leah that I was in fact acting and this really wasn't my story. Thankfully. It was quite the heartbreaking story. It may become a book someday actually...
Ok, I think that's all for now. I'm listening to Weezer's "Undone -the Sweater Song" right now which makes me happy.
The End.
Friday, November 02, 2007
appreciating a second opinion
The other day while grabbing a bite to eat before rushing off elsewhere, my housemate Marley and I flipped on the news. The federal government had just announced their plan for tax cuts.
My initial thought about paying only 5% GST was "sweet" because, duh, I save more money.
But I am so thankful to have been watching it with Marley, because she really checked my thinking. Her response to this news was anger. She got incredibly upset with the government for making this decision. She figures that if we as a country don't personally need that 1% then think of all the amazing things we can do with that money for other countries in desperate need. It's true...we are an incredibly wealthy country, and I believe that with that comes responsibility to provide for others out of our abundance. I realize that this most frequently occurs on a personal level, but wouldn't it be incredible if it happened on such a large scale on a national level?
My initial thought about paying only 5% GST was "sweet" because, duh, I save more money.
But I am so thankful to have been watching it with Marley, because she really checked my thinking. Her response to this news was anger. She got incredibly upset with the government for making this decision. She figures that if we as a country don't personally need that 1% then think of all the amazing things we can do with that money for other countries in desperate need. It's true...we are an incredibly wealthy country, and I believe that with that comes responsibility to provide for others out of our abundance. I realize that this most frequently occurs on a personal level, but wouldn't it be incredible if it happened on such a large scale on a national level?
Thursday, November 01, 2007
.love.
Last week I was at the health clinic with my roommate, and while she was in with the stupid* doctor I waited in, get this, the waiting room. Yup.
So anyways, while I was waiting I was doing some reading for a class, but I was also doing a little eavesdropping. Waiting rooms are good places for people watching I have decided. There was a mom with two little kids, who were quite well-behaved I might add. The boy had found a book and was showing it to his mom. I guess there was a picture of a toy gun inside because he felt compelled to tell her, "Mommy, you know what's not dangerous? This gun. It doesn't actually work, mommy. It won't hurt anybody." I guess he wanted her to feel safe.
The cute part I was trying to get to in this ever-lengthening story happened a while later. He suddenly turned to his mom and said, "Mommy, mommy, you know what's not dangerous? LOVING!" and he gave her a great big hug.
At this point I thought two things..."how sweet" and "oh to be so innocent."
Obviously this boy and his mother have a very positive, loving relationship. We are told that perfect love casts out fear, so in his limited life experience love has never caused him pain or been a risk.
But...for most of us, that's not really the case. I have a number of friends who recently went through some breakups, and I am reminded of the risk it is to love others. They are going through some very real pain because of their choice to love another. And I'm not saying it's better to not have loved another; in a lot of ways that would be even more dangerous. I'm simply acknowledging that unfortunately, we do not love perfectly, and therefore it is always a risk. As Jack Johnson so eloquently puts it, "lovin' somebody don't make them love you."
It makes me so incredibly grateful that God loved us, loved me, so much that he chose to send his Son. Seriously, what greater love, and what greater pain? I am so thankful that God said that we are, that I am, worth the risk of love and sacrifice.
* ok, I know that I am not doctor, but I do feel that I can call him a childish name of "stupid" because I think it's pretty clear when someone has been unable to keep any food down or up for a week and her body has broken out into hives then there's something about that that is "not normal" and you don't just send her home, tell her she's an idiot for thinking there's something wrong, and leave her with the advice that she should "make a lifestyle change."
So anyways, while I was waiting I was doing some reading for a class, but I was also doing a little eavesdropping. Waiting rooms are good places for people watching I have decided. There was a mom with two little kids, who were quite well-behaved I might add. The boy had found a book and was showing it to his mom. I guess there was a picture of a toy gun inside because he felt compelled to tell her, "Mommy, you know what's not dangerous? This gun. It doesn't actually work, mommy. It won't hurt anybody." I guess he wanted her to feel safe.
The cute part I was trying to get to in this ever-lengthening story happened a while later. He suddenly turned to his mom and said, "Mommy, mommy, you know what's not dangerous? LOVING!" and he gave her a great big hug.
At this point I thought two things..."how sweet" and "oh to be so innocent."
Obviously this boy and his mother have a very positive, loving relationship. We are told that perfect love casts out fear, so in his limited life experience love has never caused him pain or been a risk.
But...for most of us, that's not really the case. I have a number of friends who recently went through some breakups, and I am reminded of the risk it is to love others. They are going through some very real pain because of their choice to love another. And I'm not saying it's better to not have loved another; in a lot of ways that would be even more dangerous. I'm simply acknowledging that unfortunately, we do not love perfectly, and therefore it is always a risk. As Jack Johnson so eloquently puts it, "lovin' somebody don't make them love you."
It makes me so incredibly grateful that God loved us, loved me, so much that he chose to send his Son. Seriously, what greater love, and what greater pain? I am so thankful that God said that we are, that I am, worth the risk of love and sacrifice.
* ok, I know that I am not doctor, but I do feel that I can call him a childish name of "stupid" because I think it's pretty clear when someone has been unable to keep any food down or up for a week and her body has broken out into hives then there's something about that that is "not normal" and you don't just send her home, tell her she's an idiot for thinking there's something wrong, and leave her with the advice that she should "make a lifestyle change."
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
sweet relief
So I thought I'd quickly give you an update, since my last post left you thinking I was in a meltdown. Which I was. But am no longer.
What ended up happening is...I decided to drop a course. If you know me at all you know this was not an easy decision, but I do believe that it is the best decision I could have made. I know that my health and sanity are more important than being done everything by April.
Thankfully, I can still graduate in April and then take this last course in the fall. So that is nice.
I am also feeling glad to know where I'll be for at least part next year. I am looking forward to living in Calgary, having a job, taking one course, and being able to live life for real next fall. It seems like so long since I've "really lived" and I know that a lot of that is my own fault for rushing through this two year program in two years. (Oh, wait, is that maybe the school's fault for advertising it as a two year program when it should take at least 2.5, more likely 3 years?)
Regardless, I am glad to be here for longer (even though Ontario weather and beaches are better and fall is way prettier) and I am also so thankful to have some opportunity to being really living right now.
Part of that is getting involved in my church. I have been so blessed to find Awaken, a church that just feels like home. Their vision just fits my heart and I am excited about getting to know the people there more and getting more involved in life and ministry there. (By "there" I suppose I mean the community, not really a specific place. that just seems like the easiest word to use right now)
Anyways, just wanted to calm your fears about my sanity. I am feeling much better, a lot less stressed now that I have one less course to worry about. I'm still really busy, but it's manageable.
Thank you for your prayers! I have really appreciated them.
sidenote: my roomie works at Starbucks and they're allowed to dress up for Halloween tomorrow. She's thinking of going as a Tim Hortons worker. Double-Double anyone?
What ended up happening is...I decided to drop a course. If you know me at all you know this was not an easy decision, but I do believe that it is the best decision I could have made. I know that my health and sanity are more important than being done everything by April.
Thankfully, I can still graduate in April and then take this last course in the fall. So that is nice.
I am also feeling glad to know where I'll be for at least part next year. I am looking forward to living in Calgary, having a job, taking one course, and being able to live life for real next fall. It seems like so long since I've "really lived" and I know that a lot of that is my own fault for rushing through this two year program in two years. (Oh, wait, is that maybe the school's fault for advertising it as a two year program when it should take at least 2.5, more likely 3 years?)
Regardless, I am glad to be here for longer (even though Ontario weather and beaches are better and fall is way prettier) and I am also so thankful to have some opportunity to being really living right now.
Part of that is getting involved in my church. I have been so blessed to find Awaken, a church that just feels like home. Their vision just fits my heart and I am excited about getting to know the people there more and getting more involved in life and ministry there. (By "there" I suppose I mean the community, not really a specific place. that just seems like the easiest word to use right now)
Anyways, just wanted to calm your fears about my sanity. I am feeling much better, a lot less stressed now that I have one less course to worry about. I'm still really busy, but it's manageable.
Thank you for your prayers! I have really appreciated them.
sidenote: my roomie works at Starbucks and they're allowed to dress up for Halloween tomorrow. She's thinking of going as a Tim Hortons worker. Double-Double anyone?
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
breakdown
So...the reason why I haven't been able to post on here lately is because I am insanely busy.
I have been so stressed out with school and internship and having no time for anything else, not even time to vent let alone time to actually learn, and today I finally broke down.
The timing wasn't the greatest (in Rick's class. classic.) but it was very healing. Then again, maybe the timing was good since I wasn't wearing any makeup today and didn't have to worry about smeared mascara or anything. It was one of those lovely tales of me sobbing in the bathroom with Ashley holding me up, because otherwise I literally would have collapsed. So technically I missed about 45 minutes of class, but we were doing lament psalms today, so basically I just prayed my own instead. And I am so thankful that I had this opportunity to unload, although it wasn't really that there was an opportunity for it, but rather I was no longer capable of holding it in.
Anyways, I am still stressed and overwhelmed, but I'm feeling more at peace about everything. Also, I start my counselling next Wednesday, so that will be good too. I think Wednesdays will now be scheduled in as "emotional days". I know, I'm seriously unhealthy, but somehow I am surviving. Not living, but surviving. Pray that I learn how to live in the midst of this!
I have been so stressed out with school and internship and having no time for anything else, not even time to vent let alone time to actually learn, and today I finally broke down.
The timing wasn't the greatest (in Rick's class. classic.) but it was very healing. Then again, maybe the timing was good since I wasn't wearing any makeup today and didn't have to worry about smeared mascara or anything. It was one of those lovely tales of me sobbing in the bathroom with Ashley holding me up, because otherwise I literally would have collapsed. So technically I missed about 45 minutes of class, but we were doing lament psalms today, so basically I just prayed my own instead. And I am so thankful that I had this opportunity to unload, although it wasn't really that there was an opportunity for it, but rather I was no longer capable of holding it in.
Anyways, I am still stressed and overwhelmed, but I'm feeling more at peace about everything. Also, I start my counselling next Wednesday, so that will be good too. I think Wednesdays will now be scheduled in as "emotional days". I know, I'm seriously unhealthy, but somehow I am surviving. Not living, but surviving. Pray that I learn how to live in the midst of this!
Sunday, October 14, 2007
challenge
"There is no greater disaster in the spiritual life than to be immersed in unreality, for life is maintained and nourished in us by our vital relation with reality"
~Thomas Merton, quoted in Benner's The Gift of Being Yourself
Sorry to everyone that I haven't blogged much lately...it's not that I haven't wanted to, it's that I honestly have not had time. Hopefully I'll get something more substantial up here soon...but for now, it's back to homework.
~Thomas Merton, quoted in Benner's The Gift of Being Yourself
Sorry to everyone that I haven't blogged much lately...it's not that I haven't wanted to, it's that I honestly have not had time. Hopefully I'll get something more substantial up here soon...but for now, it's back to homework.
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