"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see."
The timeline on this story probably goes back before December, but that's where I'm choosing to begin.
When I was home for Christmas, I started telling people I was interested in a job at Eden in their Spiritual Life Department. This was an odd thing for me to do for a few reasons. One: I was already settled at a great job in Calgary. Two: there was no posting for a job at Eden in the SLD. But as I prayed, I sensed great confirmation that this was where I should (at the very least) apply.
So, in March I sent in my resume and a cover letter, only to be informed that there were no positions available at that time.
As I continued to pray, I still sensed that my time at the Centre would be coming to a close and I should pursue other possibilities. I began to look for jobs that were similar to the SLD, and one by one, every door was slammed shut.
I prayed more. I believe that in life there are many choices we can make and God will bless us with either one. I believe that if I had stayed at the Centre, God would have continued to bless me there (not that he would have to...just that in this particular situation it wasn't a clear "right or wrong"). But I also felt somewhat discontent about staying there, and believe that God was challenging me to trust him, to take a step of faith and see what would happen.
So I did.
I notified my bosses and coworkers that I would be leaving the Centre at the end of the school year. They responded so positively; they weren't angry at me for leaving them, they were thankful for the large amount of notice I gave, they encouraged me in my search for new work, and, most importantly, they prayed that God would provide a job that would be the right fit for me.
As my time in Calgary began to draw to a close and doors were repeatedly slammed in my face, I began to dread the inevitable questions: "Where are you moving to? What will you be doing?"
I had no answers. I didn't know where I'd end up. I didn't know what I'd end up doing. But I always rested assured of who God is. I reminded myself frequently that God has shown himself to be kind and loving; he is not mean. He would not tear me out of one place of ministry and then not provide another and then laugh at my misfortune. He is a provider. And I chose to trust that he would provide for me in this situation too.
I won't lie. There were moments in days when my faith would waver. When the reality of moving across the country to end up who-knows-where doing who-knows-what seemed a bit overwhelming. But I continued to take it to God in prayer and let it go. I refused to let myself be bogged down for long. (Though I'm sure my friends can attest to a few "freak out" moments.)
Not too long after I was back in Ontario, I was enjoying a beautiful afternoon at the beach. That day, I kind of gave up. I told God that I felt like I had exhausted every possibility of finding a job that seemed to fit with the gifts he's given me and the calling I've felt on my life. I told him that I was giving up on looking for work; I didn't know what else to do, where else to apply. When I got back later that afternoon there was an email waiting for me inviting me to interview for the position at Eden.
I hadn't even realized that a position had become available, but as soon as I read that email I laughed. I thought, 'Ok, God. I get it. Thank you.' I knew that this was my answer, and he was being faithful to my obedience in following him into the mystery.
I am so blessed.
"And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him."