Friday, December 21, 2007

even though I said this break would be reading-free...

This afternoon I read The Shack by William P. Young and I would recommend that you read it.

Wednesday, December 19, 2007


I'm back!
And the ground is covered with over a foot of snow. Although it was kind of rainy today, so it's very compressed. I took a picture of it on my back deck actually, so I'll post it on here soon.
My mom made some shortbread and I'm not gonna lie...hers is so much better than mine. Same recipe though. But hers just totally melts in your mouth...I'm just going to say it's because she has an electric mixer and I don't. I know, it's a really lame excuse, but I'm going with it.
Right now I am eating ice cream. I know, it's a rare thing for me...but it's vanilla with blueberry ripple plus pomegranate sorbet mixed in. Amazing, eh? Not quite as good as that raspberry cheesecake something or other I had this summer at the ice cream place, but pretty good nonetheless.
I have just finished writing my last two papers of the semester (I know, I'm a ridiculous procrastinator, but I am quite pleased with how they've turned out!) and I am enjoying this incredible, RARE sense of freedom! What shall I do with myself?
Well, actually, my schedule is quite full and not quite as relaxing as I would have hoped, but it's ok. Tomorrow I'm going to visit my grandma in Toronto with my mom, and possibly go skating with my brother (depending on when my mom and I go/come back).
Also, my bro and I are going to watch every episode of Chuck this break, which we've already gotten a pretty good start on...
My sister and bro-in-law are coming up for the weekend, so we'll have our family Christmas early. I guess I had better make my cards ASAP! At least everything else is done...
Also, BethL is in town for a few days so I think she, Roz and I will be chillaxing together on Saturday for some portion of the day.
So...that's a look at my next few days because I probably won't be on here too frequently. Which is not that unusual for me anymore, but I never had any die-hard fans (not of the movies, of my blog) anyways, so there's less motivation for keeping up the blog.
And on that rambling note...I'm out!

Monday, December 10, 2007

It's beginning to feel a lot like Christmas...

and it's not just because of the snow.
Friday night I went to Handel's Messiah with some friends, and then to Steve and Luke's tree decorating party, and then on Saturday morning I had a Christmas party at the dorm and that night we had the Seminary Christmas party.
So 4 things in 2 days pretty much puts me in the Christmas mood.
Only, oh wait, I still have papers to write! must get back to that now...

Friday, December 07, 2007

.transit talk.

This morning as I was waiting for my bus, Jeremiah joined me and we chatted until the bus came.
Then I got on the bus, and my "bus buddy" was there. She is from New Brunswick and we met one day while waiting for a bus from Dalhousie. She works at the Calgary Tower, and we've bumped into each other 3 or 4 times now and always just chat about our lives and stuff. So that was kind of fun to "catch up" with her again.
Then when we were on the train fox tail guy totally made my day! He got on at a station and then leapt toward the door to open it again, stood in it for a second and then backed up. He totally opened it to make sure that some people were able to make it on the train. First of all this made me happy because everyone's always so closed off in their own little worlds and personal bubbles on transit that I was amazed that he noticed their need to get on the train. Secondly, they were homeless-looking people, and one of them was in a wheelchair. I loved that he extended this courtesy to these men.
On the way home today there was hardly anyone on the train, so I decided to take a little nap. In between University and Brentwood station a man appeared, sitting across from me, and said "Are you having a good day?" which startled me awake and I said "Yes" and then he asked "Have you missed your stop?" and I smiled and said "No" and then he disappeared again. Nice of him to check on me, I guess. Anyways, by the time I made it to Dalhousie, I was the only person on my entire train car. Weird.

Friday, November 30, 2007

.random tidbits.

The other day my counsellor told me that he thinks that if I had been born 30 or 40 years earlier and was Catholic I probably would have become a nun.

Yesterday I was helping a lady at the Pregnancy Centre find some clothes for her really cute baby girl, and so I kept her daughter occupied while she found stuff. She asked me if I liked kids, and I said yes, and then she said, "You need to get married and have some now!" and then she told me "You have a very nice body" and a little while later she said that again to Tina and me. I thought it was amusing.

Let's see, what, I made chicken tonight and it was heel lekker, if I do say so myself. Very excited by the fact that I have leftovers.

Oh! I am apparently very good at crying on command. I was doing a role play at the Centre for Leah to practice, and I totally busted out the tears and had to break character to assure Barb and Leah that I was in fact acting and this really wasn't my story. Thankfully. It was quite the heartbreaking story. It may become a book someday actually...

Ok, I think that's all for now. I'm listening to Weezer's "Undone -the Sweater Song" right now which makes me happy.

The End.

Friday, November 02, 2007

appreciating a second opinion

The other day while grabbing a bite to eat before rushing off elsewhere, my housemate Marley and I flipped on the news. The federal government had just announced their plan for tax cuts.
My initial thought about paying only 5% GST was "sweet" because, duh, I save more money.
But I am so thankful to have been watching it with Marley, because she really checked my thinking. Her response to this news was anger. She got incredibly upset with the government for making this decision. She figures that if we as a country don't personally need that 1% then think of all the amazing things we can do with that money for other countries in desperate need. It's true...we are an incredibly wealthy country, and I believe that with that comes responsibility to provide for others out of our abundance. I realize that this most frequently occurs on a personal level, but wouldn't it be incredible if it happened on such a large scale on a national level?

Thursday, November 01, 2007


Last week I was at the health clinic with my roommate, and while she was in with the stupid* doctor I waited in, get this, the waiting room. Yup.
So anyways, while I was waiting I was doing some reading for a class, but I was also doing a little eavesdropping. Waiting rooms are good places for people watching I have decided. There was a mom with two little kids, who were quite well-behaved I might add. The boy had found a book and was showing it to his mom. I guess there was a picture of a toy gun inside because he felt compelled to tell her, "Mommy, you know what's not dangerous? This gun. It doesn't actually work, mommy. It won't hurt anybody." I guess he wanted her to feel safe.
The cute part I was trying to get to in this ever-lengthening story happened a while later. He suddenly turned to his mom and said, "Mommy, mommy, you know what's not dangerous? LOVING!" and he gave her a great big hug.
At this point I thought two things..."how sweet" and "oh to be so innocent."
Obviously this boy and his mother have a very positive, loving relationship. We are told that perfect love casts out fear, so in his limited life experience love has never caused him pain or been a risk.
But...for most of us, that's not really the case. I have a number of friends who recently went through some breakups, and I am reminded of the risk it is to love others. They are going through some very real pain because of their choice to love another. And I'm not saying it's better to not have loved another; in a lot of ways that would be even more dangerous. I'm simply acknowledging that unfortunately, we do not love perfectly, and therefore it is always a risk. As Jack Johnson so eloquently puts it, "lovin' somebody don't make them love you."
It makes me so incredibly grateful that God loved us, loved me, so much that he chose to send his Son. Seriously, what greater love, and what greater pain? I am so thankful that God said that we are, that I am, worth the risk of love and sacrifice.

* ok, I know that I am not doctor, but I do feel that I can call him a childish name of "stupid" because I think it's pretty clear when someone has been unable to keep any food down or up for a week and her body has broken out into hives then there's something about that that is "not normal" and you don't just send her home, tell her she's an idiot for thinking there's something wrong, and leave her with the advice that she should "make a lifestyle change."

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

sweet relief

So I thought I'd quickly give you an update, since my last post left you thinking I was in a meltdown. Which I was. But am no longer.
What ended up happening is...I decided to drop a course. If you know me at all you know this was not an easy decision, but I do believe that it is the best decision I could have made. I know that my health and sanity are more important than being done everything by April.
Thankfully, I can still graduate in April and then take this last course in the fall. So that is nice.
I am also feeling glad to know where I'll be for at least part next year. I am looking forward to living in Calgary, having a job, taking one course, and being able to live life for real next fall. It seems like so long since I've "really lived" and I know that a lot of that is my own fault for rushing through this two year program in two years. (Oh, wait, is that maybe the school's fault for advertising it as a two year program when it should take at least 2.5, more likely 3 years?)
Regardless, I am glad to be here for longer (even though Ontario weather and beaches are better and fall is way prettier) and I am also so thankful to have some opportunity to being really living right now.
Part of that is getting involved in my church. I have been so blessed to find Awaken, a church that just feels like home. Their vision just fits my heart and I am excited about getting to know the people there more and getting more involved in life and ministry there. (By "there" I suppose I mean the community, not really a specific place. that just seems like the easiest word to use right now)
Anyways, just wanted to calm your fears about my sanity. I am feeling much better, a lot less stressed now that I have one less course to worry about. I'm still really busy, but it's manageable.
Thank you for your prayers! I have really appreciated them.

sidenote: my roomie works at Starbucks and they're allowed to dress up for Halloween tomorrow. She's thinking of going as a Tim Hortons worker. Double-Double anyone?

Wednesday, October 17, 2007


So...the reason why I haven't been able to post on here lately is because I am insanely busy.
I have been so stressed out with school and internship and having no time for anything else, not even time to vent let alone time to actually learn, and today I finally broke down.
The timing wasn't the greatest (in Rick's class. classic.) but it was very healing. Then again, maybe the timing was good since I wasn't wearing any makeup today and didn't have to worry about smeared mascara or anything. It was one of those lovely tales of me sobbing in the bathroom with Ashley holding me up, because otherwise I literally would have collapsed. So technically I missed about 45 minutes of class, but we were doing lament psalms today, so basically I just prayed my own instead. And I am so thankful that I had this opportunity to unload, although it wasn't really that there was an opportunity for it, but rather I was no longer capable of holding it in.
Anyways, I am still stressed and overwhelmed, but I'm feeling more at peace about everything. Also, I start my counselling next Wednesday, so that will be good too. I think Wednesdays will now be scheduled in as "emotional days". I know, I'm seriously unhealthy, but somehow I am surviving. Not living, but surviving. Pray that I learn how to live in the midst of this!

Sunday, October 14, 2007


"There is no greater disaster in the spiritual life than to be immersed in unreality, for life is maintained and nourished in us by our vital relation with reality"

~Thomas Merton, quoted in Benner's The Gift of Being Yourself

Sorry to everyone that I haven't blogged much's not that I haven't wanted to, it's that I honestly have not had time. Hopefully I'll get something more substantial up here soon...but for now, it's back to homework.

Friday, September 21, 2007

Nynke's visit

So...for the past week Nynke has been visiting me. We enjoyed all four seasons...yes, it even snowed. On Wednesday we got off the c-train to my exclamation of "het sneeuwt!" except I totally botched the pronunciation. Regardless, I did a little excited dance on the street corner and got some strange looks. I know, I'm how old, and I still haven't learned to control myself in public...haha
Anyways! We did touristy stuff, like the Calgary Tower and Banff. And we went to Chinook Shopping Centre (that's right, it's so big it's not even a mall) and TD Square and Stephen Ave. Yeah, so a lot of shopping apparently, haha. Oh, we also went to see the Nanny Diaries which I thought was a really cute movie. But I like most movies that have "real" characters.
Oh, on Tuesday we went to Focus, and the guys cooked us dinner. And serenaded us. It was so fun; what special guys. I'm still trying to get the video of their song up on keeps freezing every time I try, and I'm not computer savvy enough to know how to fix it.
Let's see, what else...ummm...I was going to integrate pictures with this blog, but I think I may as well make use of my photo blog for that. And maybe I'll post the video there too :)
It was so so good to see Nynke again...but dang time flew! It was fun to reminisce about our Shelter days together for sure...I'm still feeling a little nostalgic, but it won't last long since I've got a buttload of work to pump out this next week. Joy!
Well, Karyn's nephew Elijah is sleeping over tonight and he's pretty much the cutest boy ever (I know Nynke, I think all kids are cute...but he really is!) so I think I'm going to go hang out downstairs...after I finish hemming these pants. I know, I'm such a multi-tasker. But seriously...they don't make pants that fit me...they would fit if my legs happened to be 6 inches longer...but can you imagine how disgustingly skinny my legs would look? I mean, even more than they already do...*shudder* Well, enough ranting about something I can't change

Thursday, September 06, 2007


It's a full 20 degrees warmer at home than it is here today.
That is because Calgary decided it was ready for fall. Today.
*sigh* goodbye sun, hello fading tan...

Tuesday, September 04, 2007


You know, somehow I felt more inspired to blog when I was back "home". Not sure why, but whatever. I'll try to keep it up here.
I went to school today to pay my bill...and get my transit pass, yay! I also went to the new student luncheon to meet the new students, of course. And to get a free lunch. What can I say? They serve really good lunches there, and plus I missed the one last year I think maybe. Ok, I don't really remember, but either way I was welcome, haha.
I'm looking forward to my new classes, even though I'm still not done one class from the summer. I've got a few more months to work on it, along with the 4 more that I'm starting now. So it's all good.
I'm looking forward to being an off-campus dorm sister this year. It will be great to be able to connect with some of the students and invest in their lives.
I'm also looking forward to my internship (wow, I'm looking forward to a lot of things, eh?). It will be an amazing, challenging, growing experience.
Ok, I think that's all for blessed!

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

catch up

Well, I'm still in Owen Sound for a few more days. Madly trying to get a pile of homework done before I go back to Calgary...
But in the midst of the homeworking I've fit in some other things. Like yesterday I went to the mall with my mom. Believe it or not, I haven't actually been to the mall yet this summer (I tried to go once, but it wasn't open yet), so I was surprised to discover a new store. Yes ladies and gentlemen, Owen Sound finally got a Le Chateau.
Also, last night my dad and I went golfing. I am, as expected, terrible, but it was still a lot of fun. My putting is really what killed me. I need to learn to put a lot more softly. Anyways, we got to see a sweet sunset on the way back from Chesley Lake, so that was lovely.
Today I'm going to finish up some more homework, and then Roz and I are going to the drive-in tonight. Even though we've already seen one of the movies that's playing. They didn't have very good options so far this summer. I think we're going to see Bourne and Hairspray. Yeah, weird combo, but we're switching screens in between movies cuz whatever's playing after Bourne and before Hairspray we didn't want to see.
Then tomorrow, I guess, I'll have to finish interviewing my couple for my marriage and family practicum. Plus finish whatever papers I don't finish today.
And then on Thursday...I'll head back home to Calgary.
ps, I love that I call this home, and that home. Everywhere and nowhere is my home. Or maybe I'm just in a nomadic stage. Anyways, that's the plan for the rest of the week, in case you cared, haha.

Thursday, August 23, 2007


So this morning when I got up it was overcast and grey, so I put on jeans.
Not accounting for the fact that, oh yeah, I'm in Ontario right now, which inevitably means: humidity.
So whatever, I'm lazy and stay in my jeans all day, not bothering to change.
This evening I just rolled up the pant legs.
Not like, multiple rolls a few inches wide with both legs even.
No, no.
Just one roll.
And kind of just let them fall down or stay or whatever they wanted to do.
The point was to expose my not-recently-shaved legs to air.
And it worked.
Only...I forgot how stylin' I was and went out to the grocery store to buy my brother pop and my mother bread (wow, that could be a really funny sentence if you didn't speak English as a first language) and wandered all around the store with my legs in the aforementioned state.
Totally didn't realize it until I was out of the store, and I had to laugh at myself :)
Smooth, stylin' Megs.
Yup, that's me.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007


The thing I'm not quite used to yet about being back at my parents' is the time it takes to get anywhere in Owen Sound. I'm meeting a friend at 6 for dinner. At 5:45 I thought, "Oh, I need to get going!" and then shook my head at myself. I don't need to leave until 5:55. In Calgary I would have had to leave at least by 5:15. Ahh, the small town life. I love it! Of course, it is also beneficial that when I'm here I have access to a car...

quote of the night

"is that a guy? ... oh, no, it's a transformer"

ahh BethL, I love you :)

Sunday, August 12, 2007

snapshots of friends

I am so blessed!

I have so many wonderful, wonderful friends.

The down-side of this fact is that they are all scattered around the globe, and I am so, so lonely in Calgary. Generally they are not in visiting distance, with some exceptions (like Nynke! who is visiting me in Calgary in September). But for the most part, the physical distance remains and we are forced to maintain our friendships on a technological basis.

Recently I have been able to see a lot of my friends again. One of the joys of coming back to Ontario is that many of my friends are a lot closer. Still not an easy distance, but much more accomodating than Calgary, for instance.

The other night Roz, BethL and I hung out at Roz's house. It was so good to spend time with these girls again, and share our hearts together. Even some tears, and no, it wasn't just me. I found that time to be so healing and very special. I am so blessed to have these wonderful friends with whom I can pick up where we left off. We've been friends for so many years, and it's amazing that we're still so close (when we have the chance). I would say that Roz definitely gets the prize among the three of us for keeping in touch, since she does physical things like cards in the mail. Quite impressive. But it's so nice to know that those life-lines are intact and available.

Yesterday I went to Nate and Jess's wedding. Left at 7:30 am and got there at 2. Unfortunately, their wedding started at 1, so I totally missed the whole thing. I was sitting at the border from 11:30 til 1:10. Brutal. I was really disappointed, BUT it didn't really matter because I got to see my friends again! I showed up when they were taking pictures, so I sneaked in and changed. Love that I showed up to their wedding in shorts. smooth.
Nate and I realized that we hadn't seen each other in over two years! And he is still one of my best friends. So cool.
I also got to see Collin again, which was great since I'm pretty sure we haven't talked at all since we last saw each other. Also at my table was Katie Radel, Missy Pukalo, Heather Potolsky, and Liz and her husband Pat, who I'd never met before. It was nice to catch up with everyone, even just briefly.

And of course, I got to see Peter and Jon (wow, I just realized I almost look like I'm not wearing anything in that pic with Jon)
and Holley.They are such great friends, and it's never long enough when I get to see them. Brief moments don't cut it...although they are precious and I am thankful for them. I just wish they could be longer.

I had to leave the reception early because Josh and I had planned on meeting in Niagara Falls at 6:30. I was an hour late (seemed to be my theme of the day) partially because I left Nate's wedding late, and partially because for some strange, unknown reason, people in upstate New York appear to enjoy driving below the speed limit. If it is 55, please, don't go 30! (that's like doing 50 in a 90 zone in km). It is painful, especially when I'm late. I don't usually get road rage, but I was very tempted to honk at the stupid drivers. Anyways, I eventually made it to Niagara and met Josh (and I still don't know how to hear the voicemails he left me. I'm so not a cell phone person at all) and so that was nice. Only I was still in my dress from the wedding, which made me super over dressed. Oh well. Made up for that by making a scary face...notice that my one eye is looking directly at the camera and only one is crossed. (Josh, I didn't put this up on facebook, just my blog, teehee)

Today I got to see Steve and Daryn at church, which is great cuz I haven't seen them in a while either! It's so crazy that Daryn's going to Yale. Smart kid I tell you. They both are...look out world! We took some random pictures outside and pretended to be a family. Steve and I are the parents, BethL and Daryn are supposed to be our children, and my brother is supposed to be our dog, but then I think Daryn wanted to be a dog as well. Whatever, it was random and weird and that makes me happy. And then we tried a bunch of times to get a good jumping pic, and we finally did! yay!

Monday, August 06, 2007

whoa, 2 days in a row!

Today for the holiday we went up to Gravenhurst to see Uncle Glenn and Aunt Leona, and Leanne and her kids. On the way we passed the pirate ship, which certainly seemed much larger when I was a child, and also Weber's, but we did not stop for a burger. Alas, I will have to wait another year.
Anyways, it was such a fun day since I have been kid-deprived for quite some time, and Emma Rose and Annie Sunshine are brilliant. We played "hide the marble" (a variation of "the penny game"), rack-o, and phase 10. Emma totally beat me at phase 10. And she's only going into gr. 4. I was quite impressed, even though I did help her quite a bit.
Annie is quite the cuddler and talker. I don't think I've ever heard a 4-year-old with such amazing verbal skills. And she is very assertive. She thought that Emma was making fun of her, so she asked me to ask Emma to stop, but I told her she should ask Emma herself and explain to her that she was being hurt by what Emma was saying. So she did. If I were her I totally just would have been mean back. Only more mean. So wow, having a 4 year old set me a good example :) impressive.
I'll have to visit them in Edmonton sometime this next year for sure.
We got my brother to play tag with us, only because he is so much bigger and faster than us we told him he had to walk with his feet directly in front of each other, toe to heel. Totally hilarious to watch by the way. I think he caught me because I was laughing too hard to move away. My bro is such a good sport, I totally love the guy.
Also, he sleeps in the car the same way I do. And dad. And his dad. With the head back and mouth wide open. We took pictures. mwahahaha. Actually, I totally can't laugh because I am genetically set up to look just as ridiculous myself.
Fun quote of the day:
"We're going for a walk at the wharf"
"Grandma, I didn't know you had a dwarf!"

Sunday, August 05, 2007

update. caution: may be long

So....I haven't blogged in a while
I flew back to Ontario on Thursday...after a little unexpected and certainly unwanted adventure. See, as I was leaving to get in my cab to go to the airport, I was very careful to get my luggage out the door without the cat escaping. And then as I was slipping through the door, he got out. So I tried to coax him back into the house. As did the cab driver. And a random lady passing by. For 25 minutes. Finally I had to give up because my cab driver was still waiting (thankfully) and I needed to get to the airport. I'm still not sure if he made it back safely, because when I called when I got to my sister's Merissa didn't think he was back yet. I really hope he made it back, because even though I don't always like the guy very much, I still want him to be okay and also it would be really sad for Karyn if he's gone. (note to my housemates: please let me know if he's ok!)
Anyways, I made it to Kitchener airport, which adorably small. One terminal, on baggage carousel. I noticed that many many many houses have pools in their backyards. And walking off the plane reminded me why. Ahh, humidity! Anyways, I saw one of my campers at the airport (random) and I still haven't quite remembered her name which has been bugging me for a few days. If only I had labelled the backs of my pictures...oh wait, maybe I did! I'll check later.
Anyways, I went to Amelia and Curtis's for Thursday night and then on Friday Meil and I went shopping! Yay! And we got some really sweet deals. I mean, 3 shirts for $5...who can beat that? And the lady at Tim Hortons was super nice and gave us a ton of extra timbits.
After Curtis was done work we went up to Owen Sound, and even though I slept for much of the way (hey, you know me and long car rides) I still appreciated the familiar beauty for the time I was awake. It is definitely good to be home.
Saturday we spent the day at the beach. Oh man, the water was gorgeous! Seriously, perfect day. Well, it could have been hotter and slightly less windy (sand in the eyes is quite irritating) but it was bright and sunny and warm. Bubba and I decided it was similar weather to that day when we were at the beach in Marseilles (seriously not as nice a beach as Sauble, but whatever, it was France) and on one side of us were people in light hoodies and on the other side were the slightly overweight topless girls.
After the beach we rushed home to quickly shower off the dirt and then go see the Bourne Ultimatum for Steps' birthday. Even mom liked it *shocker* so that was great. Good thing we'd gotten tickets in the morning and arrived early...Since Owen Sound only has one movie theatre. And the drive-in, but I'm not a fan of their current selections, so Roz and I will have to go later. asked me to serve communion for Sunday morning since she was on the praise team and someone else had to do it with dad. That's certainly a way of welcoming me back to church! But I didn't really want to sit in the very front row the whole service and serve communion because I've never done it before at this church and I know I'm a member, but I'm not an elder or a spouse of an elder, although I am the daughter of my mom who is an elder, but anyways, I just didn't feel comfortable, so they got Terry Myland to do it instead. And since he was the one actually getting the plates to distribute to the other distributors, I was especially grateful he replaced my mom instead of me. Wow, this is a really pointless sidenote.
Back on this morning was great.
sidenote (again, already, I know, I'm sorry): it's "put on a garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness" not the spirit of happiness. It's an exchange. The powerpoint was correct (check out Is. 61:3).
I felt really challenged by Kendall's sermon. He's been doing a series in Ecclesiastes (I think Rick Love would be pleased) using the illustration of the ostrich and the owl. I guess he's using them to tell a story each week, but the ostrich represents the sort of pessimistic majority of the book, and the owl is the wise interjections found throughout the book, and mostly at the end. Today's sermon was on work. Colossians 3:23-24 definitely convicted me. "Work hard and cheerfully at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people. Remember that the Lord will give you an inheritance as your reward, and the Master you are serving is Christ." I know that I've been feeling really unmotivated and burnt out and lazy lately, but I've also had the wrong focus. Definitely an area I need to work on...and not to worry, I have plenty of opportunity.
Ok. I think you're pretty much caught up now. We just chilled this afternoon and took some family photos. I taught my dad how to use his camera on the manual setting. Oh, and I had beige cake for my birthday for lunch and got a really sweet piano book.
Sorry that I've been so bad at blogging lately...maybe I'll get back into it? We shall see...

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

two countries i love

I'm housesitting right now, and they have a video entitled Canada and the Liberation of the Netherlands: May 1945
So obviously I am going to watch it. It makes me happy to realize my country had such a significant role in bringing freedom back to the Netherlands.

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Toxic Faith

from "Toxic Faith" by Stephen Arterburn and Jack Felton

21 Toxic Beliefs of a Toxic Faith

1. God's love and favour depend on my behaviour
2. When tragedy strikes, true believers should have a real peace about it
3. If I have real faith, God will heal me or someone I am praying for
4. All ministers are men and women of God and can be trusted
5. Material blessings are a sign of spiritual strength
6. The more money I give to God, the more money he will give to me
7. I can work my way to heaven
8. Problems in my life result from some particular sin
9. I must not stop meeting others' needs
10. I must always submit to authority
11. God uses only spiritual giants
12. Having true faith means waiting for God to help me and doing nothing until he does
13. If it's not in the Bible, it isn't relevant
14. God will find me a perfect mate
15. Everything that happens to me is good
16. A strong faith will protect me from problems and pain
17. God hates sinners, is angry with me, and wants to punish me
18. Christ was merely a great teacher
19. God is too big to care about me
20. More than anything else, God wants me to be happy
21. I can become God

10 Toxic-Faith Characteristics (found in a toxic church or system)

1. The members of the toxic faith system claim their character, abilities, or knowledge make them "special" in some way
2. The leader is dictatorial and authoritarian
3. Religious addicts are at war with the world to protect their terrain and to establish themselves as godly persons who can't be compared to other persons of faith
4. Toxic faith systems are punitive in nature
5. Religious addicts are asked to give overwhelming service
6. Many religious addicts in the system are physically ill, emotionally distraught, ans spiritually dead
7. Communication is from the top down or from the inside out
8. Rules are distortions of God's intent and leave him out of the relationship
9. Religious addicts lack objective accountability
10. The technique of labeling is used to discount a person who opposes the beliefs of the religious addict

Sunday, June 24, 2007

When Lilacs Last in the Dooryard Bloom'd

WHEN lilacs last in the door-yard bloom’d,
And the great star early droop’d in the western sky in the night,
I mourn’d—and yet shall mourn with ever-returning spring.

O ever-returning spring! trinity sure to me you bring;
Lilac blooming perennial, and drooping star in the west,
And thought of him I love.


O powerful, western, fallen star!
O shades of night! O moody, tearful night!
O great star disappear’d! O the black murk that hides the star!
O cruel hands that hold me powerless! O helpless soul of me!
O harsh surrounding cloud, that will not free my soul!
A sprig, with its flower, I break.

Here! coffin that slowly passes,
I give you my sprig of lilac.

(Nor for you, for one, alone;
Blossoms and branches green to coffins all I bring:
For fresh as the morning—thus would I carol a song for you, O sane and sacred death.

All over bouquets of roses,
O death! I cover you over with roses and early lilies;
But mostly and now the lilac that blooms the first,
Copious, I break, I break the sprigs from the bushes;
With loaded arms I come, pouring for you,
For you, and the coffins all of you, O death.)

O how shall I warble myself for the dead one there I loved?
And how shall I deck my song for the large sweet soul that has gone?
And what shall my perfume be, for the grave of him I love?

Sea-winds, blown from east and west,
Blown from the eastern sea, and blown from the western sea, till there on the prairies meeting:
These, and with these, and the breath of my chant,
I perfume the grave of him I love.

Then with the knowledge of death as walking one side of me,
And the thought of death close-walking the other side of me,
And I in the middle, as with companions, and as holding the hands of companions,
I fled forth to the hiding receiving night, that talks not,
Down to the shores of the water, the path by the swamp in the dimness,
To the solemn shadowy cedars, and ghostly pines so still.

And the singer so shy to the rest receiv’d me;
The gray-brown bird I know, receiv’d us comrades three;
And he sang what seem’d the carol of death, and a verse for him I love.

Passing the visions, passing the night;
Passing, unloosing the hold of my comrades’ hands;
Passing the song of the hermit bird, and the tallying song of my soul,
(Victorious song, death’s outlet song, yet varying, ever-altering song,
As low and wailing, yet clear the notes, rising and falling, flooding the night,
Sadly sinking and fainting, as warning and warning, and yet again bursting with joy,
Covering the earth, and filling the spread of the heaven,
As that powerful psalm in the night I heard from recesses,)
Passing, I leave thee, lilac with heart-shaped leaves;
I leave thee there in the door-yard, blooming, returning with spring,
I cease from my song for thee;
From my gaze on thee in the west, fronting the west, communing with thee,
O comrade lustrous, with silver face in the night.

Yet each I keep, and all, retrievements out of the night;
The song, the wondrous chant of the gray-brown bird,
And the tallying chant, the echo arous’d in my soul,
With the lustrous and drooping star, with the countenance full of woe,
With the lilac tall, and its blossoms of mastering odor;
With the holders holding my hand, nearing the call of the bird,
Comrades mine, and I in the midst, and their memory ever I keep—for the dead I loved so well;
For the sweetest, wisest soul of all my days and lands...and this for his dear sake;
Lilac and star and bird, twined with the chant of my soul,
There in the fragrant pines, and the cedars dusk and dim.

~Walt Whitman

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

one of my least favourite feelings in the world: mosquito bites on top of a sunburn

Thursday, June 14, 2007

mental breakdown

So remember that post not so long ago about me having a mental breakdown? Yeah, unfortunately I wasn't exaggerating.
This morning on the c-train (which was incredibly late and slow and took an extra 20 minutes and kept stopping) I had a bit of a panic attack, which is strange, because that has never happened to me before. I was crammed in there, surrounded by people, with very little air and I started to hyperventilate. So I intentially slowed down my breathing and tried to get some air, but really, when the train wasn't moving there was no air movement. My legs felt like they were going to buckle beneath me and I would faint, and one of my hands went completely numb. I thought I was going to throw up on everyone, which would have been SO awkward. Fortunately I made it until the train finally stopped and I escaped and threw up into a garbage can. So gross.
So yeah, I was a bit shaken and extremely pale when I made it to class, but fortunately I feel much better now. It just took some time.
Still...weird that I had a panic attack like that. Thankfully after tomorrow my stress level will be seriously decreased and I will be refreshed to face life again.

Monday, June 11, 2007


The Great Canadian Superstore really lives up to its name.
Not only does it have speculaas for sale (as ecstatically noted previously on this blog) but it also has stroop wafels! Made in Holland. So, clearly, not as fresh, but still utterly delicious. What a perfect treat that Merissa surprised me with...totally made my night! (Thanks Mer!)
I've seen them for sale in Ontario before, but not here in Calgary, so you better believe I will be introducing my stroop wafel virgin friends to them very very soon. Heel Lekker!!!

Happy Anniversary!

Today is my sister's second anniversary.

Can't believe that two years ago you were getting married Meil...time goes so fast.

So...Happy 2nd Anniversary Amelia and Curtis! Love you guys!

Thursday, June 07, 2007

love is a risk

I'm reading a book called "The Beautiful Risk" by James Olthuis right now, and I'm really enjoying it. A lot of what he says in it is stuff that I have been trying to express without much success, so it's been refreshing to read my thoughts expressed clearly. And also a lot more thought out and expanded upon.
I just read a chapter which was about "Understanding Ourselves: Love is Who We Are" and thought I'd pop up a few quotes. Or just long sections. We'll see :)

"God is love, and humans are made in God's image. Love, then, is who we are--love's agents. God is the giver, we are the gifted, love is the gift. God is the caller, we are the called, love is the calling.
This is what I mean by the gift/call structure of humankin. Being and becoming lovers--the gift of being human and the call to become human--happen together, inextricably, simultaneously in a process of being and becoming. To be human is quintessentially to be and to become a love--a lover of God, neighbor, self, and world...
Not only do we seek love, but love seeks us. Not only do I know love, but love knows me. We love even as we are loved. To be human is to participate actively in God's movement of love that is happening in the world. We are agents of love called to love, and called by love."

"In this way, loving--receiving and giving love--is not something, first of all, that we do. Love is who we are, as gift and call, as passion to be lived out. It is in love (or not loving) that we are (or are not) human. It is in heeding the call of love--in making life-affirming connections--that we become human...Loving is of the essence of being human, the connective tissue of reality, the oxygen of life."

"Our spiritual interconnectedness with God means that to be a human person is to be a self-in-faith --that is, a self centered in faith rather than in self, a substance, an ability, or a role. The secret of our existence finds its origin and home in the mystery of God's gift of love, which is known through faith."

"Needless to say, the fact that we are interrelational beings defined by process only underlines just how fragile and exposed we are. We depend on our interaction with others and with creation to stay alive and become ourselves. That very interdependence makes us susceptible to injury and harm. To be alive is to be vulnerable--but how do we stay open, yet protect and hold on to ourselves at the same time?"

I think that last sentence stuck out to me the most. It's kind of a paradox...desperately wanting to live, really live, yet understanding and fearing the risks.

Monday, June 04, 2007

Mel's wedding

This past week I was in Regina for Mel's wedding. It was so good to be with those girls again. I didn't realize how much I had missed being in community with them until I was there.
It was also great to get to know Lester a bit better. I must say, Mel and Lester are really great for each other and balance each other out so well.
The wedding was beautiful and went really well. And we had a lot of fun taking pictures. I'll post a few that were taken on my camera here.

Monday, May 28, 2007


I was talking to Mel earlier today and that's when it hit me...
I'm going to see Mel and Roz tomorrow!
and in 4 days Mel will be a married woman

if this is what it takes for us to see each other nowadays, then I agree with Roz...

We should get married more often!

Friday, May 25, 2007

Coming up Next...

"Meghan having a mental breakdown"

Stay tuned...

Monday, May 21, 2007


We moved all our furniture today
Of course, we pick the day to move that it SNOWS ALL MORNING

I am really tired, but it's nice to have the majority of my stuff moved there
Now I'll be sleeping on a couch for a week or so until I move along with my stuff

Saturday, May 05, 2007

our new house and gilmore

We've taken Gilmore to our new house twice now so he can get used to it. He spent the majority of his first visit cowering in the basement, and a small portion of it crying at the door. He also peed in Merissa's car on the way there (but we have since brought a makeshift litter box over for him).
Last night we went over again to start cleaning. We got the top floor done, and most of the basement. All that's left is the kitchen, the walls on the main floor, and the stairwell down to the basement. Oh, and the shower in the basement and the pesky crayon on the walls which just wouldn't come off for us. So we feel like we accomplished a lot.
Anyways, they must have recently cleaned the vents, because they didn't put the covers back on. This is not good when a cat is over. At first it was ok, because Gilmore was either hiding under the couch or in a closet, but eventually he discovered a vent. We heard a thump and came running only to see his little head down in the hole. Obviously we were not excited about the possibility of a cat falling 2 storeys down a vent, so I reached down and grabbed him. Let me tell you, he did not want to move. His little heart was beating so fast, and yet he wouldn't let me pull him out. He dug his heels and squirmed (but thankfully my death grip was stronger) and eventually I got his head out, then one paw, then another, and then the rest of him followed. I have the scratches to prove it.
After this slightly terrifying experience we locked him out of the bedrooms and he hid in the hall closet again. We were cleaning the walls in the basement when all of a sudden we heard thumping. I ran upstairs and wouldn't you know it, the cat found another vent in the living room and knocked aside the cover to explore his new house more extensively that he should. This time he just jumped out of the vent, which was very nice, and we put the boom box in front of the vent so he would no longer be tempted.
I think it's going to be quite the adventure getting him used to his new abode...

Friday, May 04, 2007


Yesterday it snowed.

There is a family of squirrels living in a tree on my front lawn, and the two little babies were shivering at the bottom of the tree, unable to climb up, and they looked like drowned rats (which I know is appropriate since they are members of the rodent family). They looked so sad, we just wanted to help them warm up...with blow dryers or something. Don't worry, we didn't do that (electric hair drying in rainy snow weather isn't the most brilliant of plans) and eventually they were able to climb the tree to their parents.
Not before hissing and eventally scratching Nicole.

Wet squirrels are not very soft. Or friendly. Mostly just scared and cold and miserable. In case you ever wanted to know.

Thursday, April 26, 2007

homeless no more

So I kind of posted this on my photo blog yesterday, but hardly anyone reads that one, so it's better that I say it here too...

We have a house!!

It's a cute little townhouse (the end unit) with 4 bedrooms and 2 full bathrooms and there's room for the piano and all the stuff that we plan on keeping, and it's in a really cute neighbourhood close to the c-train so praise God!

Saturday, April 14, 2007


I saw them in the Superstore and I actually teared up.
I know, I'm quite pathetic.
But I don't care.
I have a box of speculaas and while they're not exactly the same as the ones we ate at MTP, they're close enough. So happy!

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

random sidenote on Canada

I'm reading a book on heaven and hell by Bruce Milne for my heaven, hell, angels, and demons class, and as I was reading I discovered a paragraph on Canada! In reference to heaven, of course *wink wink*
So...I thought I'd share it with you, cuz it's actually interesting. And perhaps new information to a few of you. It stems from a discussion on Psalm 72:8.

There is an interesting historical incident relating to the specificity of the early part of verse 8, 'from sea to sea and from the River to the ends of the earth'. In 1870, at the time of the confederation of the British North American colonies of Upper and Lower Canada into the united nation of Canada, the name 'Kingdom of Canada' was canvassed but rejected. Finally, the title 'Dominion' was chosen for the new nation because of the apparent relevance of this verse. Canada, then in prospect and later in reality, stretched from 'sea to sea' --from the Atlantic to the Pacific, 'from the River' (the great St. Lawrence, which in those days dominated the prospects, trade and external relations of the country) 'to the ends of the earth' (most applicable to the polar region to Canada's north). Thus it came to be called ''the Dominion of Canada'.

Saturday, April 07, 2007

poor cat

Reg, our landlord, has been fixing our roof for the past 2 days. Unfortunately for Gilmore, it's quite loud. The poor guy is terrified. He was hiding under my bed or the couch for much of the morning. He wouldn't even eat his breakfast because it was upstairs and the noises were scaring him, so I brought it downstairs for him (yeah, I spoil him sometimes). Nicole and I dragged him from under the couch and the bed and wrapped him up in blankets and held him like a baby. The blankets are necessary because he has very sharp claws. He got pretty calmed down for a while, but the banging started up again and he got loose from the blanket within which I was holding him (he's a strong fighter). Now I have bloody scratches on my wrist/palm and he's hiding under the couch again where we can't reach him.

Friday, April 06, 2007

Reflections on Good Friday

When I was a child I wondered why today was called "Good" Friday. To me, Jesus' death was sad, unfair, and horrible. My mind couldn't comprehend why killing Jesus, whom I loved, was a good thing. I don't know if I ever cried while reading or being read the story, but I remember distinctly one time when I was thinking about His death and I began to sob uncontrollably. I think I was maybe 8, but that detail is a little blurry. I was in the kitchen, and I doubled over by the cupboards and let out all my grief and confusion through my tears. My brother and sister were at a loss: why was I crying when He rose 3 days later? It's not like I didn't know what happened. But my parents understood, and they let me cry. I think that's why I understood why it's called "Good" Friday. Something clicked, and I sobbed not just for what Jesus went through, but because He did it for me. I understood that even though Easter is a day of great rejoicing, thanksgiving, and praise, Good Friday is just as miraculous.

excerpt from my journal entry on March 25, 2005

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

house search

The search for a house continues...

A few possibilities...

One we're really hoping works out, but with a decent backup...

So now we wait and see where God would have us be...

Sunday, March 25, 2007

hello, pimp

So, we had a pimp stop by our house today. Twice.
He did not get through the door or any information about the girl he was looking for, but it was still really creepy.
I hope he never comes back again. He is most definitely not welcome.

Monday, March 19, 2007


One happy lesson of the day: I finally discovered a fun way to make my calves grow!
I went snowboarding for the first time
AND I have some lovely bruises to show for it!

First I learned how to stand up, obviously, and then I proceeded down the hill fairly successfully on my heel side. The second time down I started to do the zigzag thing and it worked quite well for me, until I was at the bottom where I caught my toe edge and crashed forward, instantly bruising my right wrist.
Not deterred in the least, I went back to the top where Hannah showed me how to ride toe side. Basically she held my hands and walked behind me the whole way down while I tried to get my balance, haha. The next time down I was better and I tried to zigzag but basically I'm not very good, but whatever.
Then I was going down toe side and I switched to heel side, and it was really fun and cool.
(Wow, I'm sorry if this is an extremely lame and boring post)
And so the next time Hannah showed me how to switch from heel side to toe side, and I fell many times as I attempted that one, but I did make it a few times! Mostly when I was near the bottom and it was less icy and wasn't very steep. at all.
So that's pretty much all I did the whole time, but it was fun, and I think next time I'll go on a real hill and learn more.

So! It was a good adventure with few injuries other than a sore butt and knees, which isn't a big deal at all. MUCH more successful than my attempt to skateboard on a Garlock tray, as Josh was kind enough to remind me.

Anyhow, I'm going to finish my worksheet on Song of Songs now, which is really a remarkable book. I feel like I've learned so much, and there's so much more in there than I ever realized before. Which is always a typical response when looking at literature in general and the Bible in particular, but anyways, I'm going to stop chattering nonsensically about it here and write about it for my prof.

Tuesday, March 13, 2007


Karyn is back from Honduras, which is nice, not only for us, but also for her cat Gilmore who missed her for the past 6 months. You'd think he'd be so excited to have her back that he'd miraculously become well-behaved...but think again.
For the past 2 days he's peed on Nicole's bed. again.
But the story I'm about to tell isn't about his bad's simply a story that made me laugh out loud.

I just got home a little while ago...and the cat was being weird. He was only walking with his front legs, and dragging his butt on the ground, so I picked him up and saw this chunk of pooh stuck there which he was obviously having trouble losing. Unfortunately, he tried to drag his butt on my bed and my carpet, which I would not allow, but I didn't want him to suffer any more (or for the pooh to end up in some random place in the house) so I grabbed a kleenex to help the guy out, and he took off. Seriously, he is amazing at hide and seek; it took me like 10 minutes to find him, and my house isn't that big, especially with most of the doors closed.
Anyways, eventually I found him and tried to grab him to help him get it off, but he ran away, so I caught him again and I grabed it with the kleenex. I think i took a bit of fur with me (it was seriously stuck!). He had swallowed a sequin or something, cuz that was definitely a sequiny shiny blob of poop, haha.
Anyway, after I removed the defication, he started licking his crotch clean, and he totally farted right into his mouth! it was so funny!!

The End

Sunday, March 04, 2007


I've been reading a book called "The Practice of Spiritual Direction" by Wms Barry & Connolly.
There are a number of good quotes to be found in it, but I thought I'd just share this one.

The Old and New Testaments demonstrate the aptness of the comparison [of prayer being no more difficult than the formation of any deep, enduring, trustworthy relationship, and no easier]. They are a record of God's expression of his attitudes toward us. We see how he lives out his love, his concern, his willingness to be involved with us. These attempts to communicate with us are not the efforts of an academician to make himself clear. Yahweh speaks with tenderness, dismay, anger, concern. Jesus addresses people invitingly, angrily, sadly, ardently, compassionately. God's desire to enter a mutual relationship with us leads to direct confrontations with people that call for a response from them. He calls people by name. He helps them in times of trouble, rescues them from oppression, forgives them their obtuseness and recalcitrance, shows them a mother's love. Jesus weeps for people, struggles to help them understand him, patiently tells them about the Father, warns them, urges them, takes them to task.

Friday, March 02, 2007

breakfast at tiffany's

Sometimes I am caught off-guard by myself. All day I was trying to figure out why I was in a bad mood, as well as trying to fight it, until Merissa commented on how stressed I am. *lightbulb*

We went to our first "Breaking Free" Bible study today...part of me felt frustrated with the way the Bible was interpreted to make it fit the purposes of the study...but part of me liked it because it challenged my thinking, even though it was not necessarily interpreted "correctly".

Last week we were talking about the dangers of Seminary and how there's a risk of losing respect for the Word...I'm scared that that will happen to me. I don't think it will...but part of me is a little more reserved, or simply digs in a different way than before. Which I think is a good thing, because I understand more the circumstances around which it was written and the original audience, etc. So while I may have a more accurate interpretation, that should not eliminate what the Spirit shows me personally through the Scripture. Which means I also cannot discount what others learn through the Scripture. Obviously it is good to test it for truth and not accept everything people find in Scripture because there are a lot of wacky interpretations, but I need to remain open and humble and not closed off to the Word.

This evening we went to The House and Nicole got to play a song...zo mooi! She is so talented. I also took a bunch of good pictures. I'll post some on my photo blog sometime soon probably. (Ben, I missed you and your camera very much tonight. You would have enjoyed it...)

You know what everyone? God is good. And can be trusted.

random slice of a conversation tonight:
"I don't like my profile"
"I don't like it either"

Monday, February 26, 2007


So I was just chatting with Dave and he asked me to edit his paper on abortion, so I figured, why not put my homework aside and help him for a few minutes, since it's going to be a long night anyways.
As I was editing it and giving him a few suggestions, he asked for my advice on a relationship issue (incidentally with a girl named Meghan).
I was indicating a sentence that needed some attention and he interrupted with "fix my problem in life first"
which I did
and then finished fixing up his paper.
I don't know if you find that line amusing or not, but I thought it was kind of funny.
Also amusing is that he always refers to me as a dude or bro.
And the effects of mexican oven dish on his system...which he just brought up. Nothing like a good pooh story to lighten one's mood.
And on that note...I'm going to finish my worksheet on Proverbs!

Friday, February 23, 2007

ski trip

A little late...but I thought I'd share a bit about my ski trip.
The last time I went skiing was in gr 9 or 10 with BethL...basically, it was an interesting day because she knows how to ski, and I spent the majority of my time on my butt in the snow. But I was determined to try again, and have a good time.
Jen invited me to go skiing with her on Monday, and since I could borrow her mom's skiis and didn't have to rent them, I figured why on earth not? So I invited Hannah, and she invited her friend Anita and these guys from Edmonton came as well, and we went up to Lake Louise.
For the morning Jen and I skiied (how on earth do you spell that past tense?) together and basically she laughed at me the whole time, which was fine, because I like to laugh at myself as well. My first few runs were mishap free, but then...I had one amazing wipe out. Jen would be skiing parallel, which traditionally is much faster than snowplow, so she would occasionally slow down and wait for me to catch up. However, I can go very quickly while doing my snowplow, and one such time she slowed unnecessarily. I was dodging ski school students and was right behind her when she began to slow down to look back for me, so I had no choice but to swoop past her in order not to crash, and in so doing I gained even more speed. Ahead of me was either a person or a little jump, and I chose the jump, with full knowledge that I was fairly out of control and would undoubtedly CRASH. Let's just say I was flat on my stomach with my skiis every whichway right on the edge of a cliffish type part of the mountain and was laughing so hard I couldn't move. Thankfully I was out of the way, haha. A beautiful flight. Basically at lunch the guys were all upset to have been missing out on the extreme joy of watching me attempt to ski, so after lunch we all went to the other side of the mountain together. They were surprised at how good I actually was because Jen was describing me as so...unique...which I am. But yeah. It was definitely a fun time, except for the fact that we accidentally lost Hannah and Anita at the beginning of the day and didn't see them again til the end. Next time we'll communicate better first...
On Sunday Hannah is going to teach me how to snowboard! So that will be exciting. Yay!

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

gelukkig valentijnsdag!

Today Josh asked me if I would be his valentine.

Saturday, February 10, 2007

breaking and own house

Yesterday I finally got to meet Josh's girlfriend, Sarah, and I showed her these old pictures of him when he still had a baby face :) He was a little embarrassed, but such is life, and I warned him ahead of time. We went to the Devonian Gardens, which for some reason I'd never been to. They're nice, especially when you want to escape winter.
I saw Darcy at the school and he wanted to come home with me to jam with Nicole since she's back, so once he finally found his coat, we took off, with his amp and guitar in tow. Only I had forgotten my keys, so we had to break into my house (because Nicole was sleeping and the doorbell didn't wake her) which was unfortunately very easy, which probably I shouldn't be announcing. However, I fixed the window so now if we're locked out, we're really locked out. We didn't realize right away that Nicole was home, so Darcy kind of woke her up with the piano, but it was all good. We watched a movie and Nicole and I both fell asleep I think (sorry Darcy) because he woke me up quite a while after it was over, and she was still kind of out of it. But then we jammed together for a bit and it was nice.
Nicole and I went grocery shopping because she hadn't been since October! so we filled the cart with so much food and realized we had to walk it all home somehow...So we just brought the cart home (why not make this place look even more ghetto? it'll match the cart that's been sitting on the other side of the duplex for months) to bring it back later. A full cart on very snowy roads and sidewalks isn't the smoothest experience, but it was a good workout!
After putting away the groceries we watched Footloose with Julie which somehow Nicole and I had never seen before. So that was fun.
Today Julie gets to wear a black velvet dress and $3000 diamonds at work (advertising for V-Day I'm guessing) and Nicole's friend Rachel is coming. I'm just finishing up homework because that's what I do.

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

house life

So apparently on my last post I decided to end it very abruptly, almost mid-sentence. I guess I just didn't feel like writing anymore. So I'm not going to change it.
Nicole got back yesterday with some amazingly hilarious poop stories, poor thing (she was puking almost the whole time she was in India) and Merissa left today to visit Karyn in Honduras.
It's weird to have someone always missing around here, but I guess it helps to not overcrowd the fridge as much.
And no, I'm not equating people to food. I'm just noting an upside.
Ok, that's all I feel like writing now. I need to finish writing my presentation verbatim before I meet with Marci tomorrow. Which I will proceed to do while watching Center Stage with Julie.
ahh, multi-tasking, my old friend

Monday, February 05, 2007

african weekend

There appeared to be a theme...
Friday night and all day Saturday Thora was cooking Ethiopean food...which is really good I might add.
Saturday we went to see Watoto, the African Children's Choir from Uganda. Obviously they were all adorably cute, but my favourite was Conrad. "Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen. My name is Conrad. I am ten years old and when I grow up I want to be a pilot." Two things about this...he sounded like a pilot with his ladies and gentlemen "we are currently flying at 3500 feet and the weather conditions are very smooth" and at first I thought his "pilot" sounded like "pirate" so I was like "You are my hero!!!" haha. Oh yeah, and one boy's name was Innocent, which reminded me of invisible children.
Upon our return home, people were still over to eat Thora's Ethiopean dinner, so we partook as well. There was also an African dance party in our living room.
Sunday morning the superintendent or something of Pentecostal churches in Uganda spoke, challenging us to use our talents and take risks in order to multiply...

Friday, February 02, 2007

bragg creek/kamp kiwanis


Marci and I met in the library to work on our project on teen depression. We were pretty much the only people there since the undergrads were having a "community day" and the semiarians were at the retreat. We got a lot accomplished and I'm excited about our project. We work well together and think similarily, so that made it quite fun.
I rushed home from the library to pack for the next day and then Merissa and I rushed to the bus stop (gotta love buses during rush hour...thankfully we got a seat!) and took it down to way in the southwest where her dad picked us up. We went to her house where her horrible yappy dog that Dan ruined (yes, I am blaming you also) would not shut up (well, eventually she did, but it took a long time) and we had a lekker dinner and then we took her sister, Chantel, and her friend to youth group.
We went to Starbucks and tried the new tea lattes and sat on comfy chairs to do homework and read. The music was really loud, and it was distracting Merissa from her work, but she was too comfortable to move, so I offered to ask them to turn it down a bit for her. I popped my head over the counter requesting the slight decrease in volume of the music, even motioning with my fingers "een beetje" and moments later...the music died. Yes, they turned it all the way off, and then I felt like the evil girl who made the music die, and Merissa was oh-so-gleeful that I had done her dirty work for her. Since when does a little bit mean all the way? Whatever.
So then we went back to her place after youth group was over and it was so windy and snowy! But their house is nice and warm and I slept well, just not long enough. OH, and before we slept they had TLC on in the background and it was so gross...about a guy whose muscles exploded because he had taken too many steroids...bodybuilders are so ugly!!!! eww.

Anyways, the Nel's house reminded me of going to Ewout's house to get away from Amsterdam because Bragg Creek (where they live) is really close to Calgary, but it's in the woods and the foothills of the Rockies and it's just different enough to be a haven and feel like a mini vacation. Refreshing.

We got up early to get to Kamp Kiwanis for the CTS retreat before breakfast at 8:00. It was a nice relaxing day...we had breakfast, a group did a skit, we hung out for a while and then had chapel. It was a really good sermon which was something I needed to hear. I'll probably post more extensively on it some other time.
Then we had some free time before lunch, and Merissa and Paul Spilsbury sang Nkosi Sikelel iAfrika and I tried to sing along but I do not have it memorized yet.
After lunch we had a really long student meeting, which was good, just long. Then we had some more group activities...we all completed a quiz about the faculty, and then we "made professors" outside using snow and natural objects. My group made Rick Love on the ice with blood gushing from his head, in the exact spot he fell onto Curtis' stick the day before causing him to gush blood. It was pretty fun, and there were some creative creations. After that competition my group practised our skit that we had to perform after dinner, and I threw out my back falling.
We played the bean game and chatted until dinner. I've gotta say, it's ridiculous how fast time flies at retreats because you're eating and then do something and then eat again and then do something and eat again...or that's how it seems at least. Plus snacking in between activities.
After supper they gave out awards and we did our skit....which was really funny and well received by everyone except Spilsbury's group, of course. (incidentally, everyone liked our sculpture of Rick except his group too...)
Then we went to the chapel which was a wonderful time of meeting with God and being filled with the Holy Spirit. After that we had to leave, but that was ok because I was so tired...and Merissa too since she'd worked a night shift of Tuesday and hardly slept on Wednesday.

So I think I've caught you up now...and now I need to catch up on the homework. Doei!

Thursday, January 25, 2007

i love friends

I was talking with Rala earlier today, which was so nice to catch up with her again, and she commented that sometimes it seems that the closer you get to making a life decision the more you realize you're back with as big a decision as you started off with. Like you keep making decisions, thinking you're getting closer to some end goal only to see the goal broaden and open up with endless possibilities.
I guess sometimes that's a freeing thought, but sometimes it can be overwhelming also. For me, I will rest in the hands of my Father. Because I just don't know, and, praise God, he does.

I also got to talk to Tina today. I miss her so much. I wish we could still have our late night talks when we shared our hearts with each other, through much laughter and also tears. I miss our room, and each of us on our bunks trying to make eye contact in the mirror as we chatted because it was too hard for the person on top to be upsidedown for that long. And I miss our loft and our roof (which sadly everyone has to miss now, even the people who live there) and being up high in the fresh air looking over the city and yet still a part of it.
And so, in memory of Rala, Tina, myself, and our roof in the beautiful city of Amsterdam, here is a (not very good) picture of us having "church" together with tea and Tina's guitar one Sunday morning in September.

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

marci made my day

So apparently I'm really getting back into this blogging thing...or I'm procrastinating. Depends which way you look at it.
Anyways, after class this morning I went to find Marci in the library and had such an encouraging chat. I often wonder what I'm doing in this program since I don't really want to be a counsellor, and yet I know that I am supposed to be here doing this. But still, sometimes it's hard to justify spending this much money on a degree I don't plan on using to make my living. I know that I will definitely be using what I'm learning, but I do not know that it will earn me money. Marci has similar end goals as she put it "I want to work with normal people who are dealing with normal people things." It's true...I don't see myself working with people with pathologies and mental illnesses. I see myself living life with people and encouraging them through the ups and downs that will come. So it is really nice to not be alone, and it helps to confir, this for me when I get discouraged.
Also, we're going to do a project together now, since we're both doing teen depression. So that's really nice to be working with her, and since we both have the teaching background our thought processes are quite similar. I'm quite excited about this project...I mean, I was before, but ever more so now. Cool beans.
And now I will write a paper (see, I don't procrastinate for very long). Doei!

Monday, January 22, 2007

random sidenote. times two.

Yesterday at the lunch meeting at church when I was introducing myself to everyone, one of the pastors actually checked my hand and asked me outright if I was married yet, hahaha. He pulled the "I wondered if I may have met your husband but not you before" thing, even though if I was married I would have been there with my husband, and he has a son around my age. Whatever, I thought it was amusing.

Also, I like a few shirts at but it's frustrating because they're expensive to begin with (which is ok, because most of the profits go to an orphanage in India which doesn't actually exist yet but is in the process of being built) but it's an extra $20 US to ship to Canada, but free shipping in the US. So one shirt ends up being like $50 US plus the exchange rate...ridiculous! cool shirt for me. Which is actually probably a good thing since I don't have money to throw around, especially if I have to buy a new coat.

Sunday, January 21, 2007

catch up

The other day I went to this bookstore downtown to get some reading done. A comfy chair and London Fog was good motivation! I'll have to do it again sometime.

Oh, and figure skating has been on tv...I like it! Soon they will go to Tokyo and I can cheer madly for the Canadians...they're so good, if I do say so myself, haha.

Friday night we went to Curtis's basketball game. Ok, it was the school game, but he and Dave are the only people I know on the team. It was cool, and also we got to see this hackysac/soccer game thing going on in the court next to them, which was great, but unfortunately they ended shortly after the bball game began. I had been excited about watching them when bball got boring, but it turns out I just had to watch bball, haha. The auc/nuc/cts bleachers were full when we got there, so we sat on the "enemy lines" which was an interesting experience.

After the game we went to some east coast bar and went "jigging". It was fun, but I'm really out of shape and my calves are killing me now, not gonna lie. If only I still had a bike and cycled every day!! Also, sad story, my coat got stolen. So random too...we had all our coats piled on the back of one chair and mine was second from the bottom and somehow mine was missing and everyone else's was there, even though we were sitting there the whole time. So that's not so fun, but thankfully I have another coat, so it's ok.

Last night a different Curtis (seriously, I need to come up with nicnames for them all. There are 2 from church, 1 from school, and then my bro-in-law) and I went to Joel's show at some bar on 17th ave. It was a good show, but the bar was not very full, so that's too bad for him. I think he knew pretty much everyone who was there to watch his show. Also it was way too loud in there so it was difficult to talk. I know that there's this whole loud music ambiance thing going on at bars, but when it's that loud it just gives you a headache and makes you frustrated that you're shouting into someone's ear and they still have no idea what you're saying.
And yes, I know that "someone" and "they" do not agree.

Today I woke up no thanks to my alarm which did not wake me up, if it even went off, and rushed to get ready for church, talked to Stawan in India really quickly, and went to Beddington. It was a really good service, and after I went to the life group leadership meeting. I'm considering starting a life group, but I may also just join one. or both!? I'll keep praying about it and see what happens...

So, that's about it I guess. I'm going to finish my worksheet on Job now. By the way, the text book I have for that class is amazing and I would read it for fun. I love learning!

Oh, one last question...Switchfoot and Jars of Clay are playing at the U of C on the same night at the same time in February. Which concert should I go to? I think Switchfoot is more expensive. But I've seen Jars quite a few times. So it's still a bit of a toss up. What's your opinion?

Tuesday, January 16, 2007


So I was thinking about posting again, but couldn't think of anything to say...and then I saw Dave's comment. So why not make at least one person happy?

Um, I'm back in Calgary. Had my first class of this semester this morning. Am madly trying to read 2 text books by next Tuesday so I have enough time to write the paper. Have to come up with something(s) creative to do for my Wisdom Lit. class that can be worth half my marks.

Tonight I'm going to the Young Adults thing at church. I'm considering helping out with the youth group and/or starting/joining a home group. I love the people at this church...they're very friendly, and I am always in the business of making new friends.

I think I've posted this song before, but it's my song of the day from yesterday (haven't found one yet for today, so maybe it'll stick around) and I like it, so why not share? It's by Sixpence None the Richer which sadly isn't a band anymore, although Leigh Nash is doing the solo thing. Anyways, here it is.


I'm like Thomas doubting
fingers routing the scars
in your wrist and side
touching flesh will make my mind believe

but I want to be like David
throwing his clothes to the wind
to dance a jig in my skin
and be remade by your cleansing again

I gave you myself
it's all that I have
broken and frail
I'm clay in your hands
and I'm spinning unconcealed
dizzy on this wheel
for you, my love

I'm like Peter crying
crowing burning my ears
still you come near
you take my hand and place in my palm
an eternal chance

but I want to be like David
throwing his clothes to the wind
to dance a jig in my skin
and be remade by your cleansing again

Monday, January 01, 2007


On New Year's Eve...
God blessed me.
I went to Waterloo to visit my sister and brother-in-law, and we went skating with their church.
One of my campers, who I haven't seen in years, happened to be there. It was such a God-thing for us to catch up and I know she was an encouragement to me. I hope I was an encouragement to her as well.
It was the perfect blessing with which to end the year.
And to begin the new year...
I got to see my friend Kristina who I met in Amsterdam. She was part of the YWAM group which stayed with us for a while. It was so nice to see her again and catch up on her life and the lives of our mutual friends.
Tomorrow Amelia and I are going down to Rochester to see some friends from college, and I'm really looking forward to that.
Then on Wednesday Roz is going to meet us in Toronto and we're going to look for a bridesmaid dress pour moi. Should be fun.

I pray that your year has started off full of blessings as well!

Liefs en zegen!