.mystery.

God is Mystery. It's a part of him that I tend to wrestle with when asking the "why" questions. But it's also something I'm incredibly thankful for. If God weren't Mystery, then we could fully understand him. And if we could fully comprehend him, then he wouldn't be very big. And if he weren't very big then what could he do, and why would I waste my time worshiping him, or even trying to get to know him?
So Mystery is something I will embrace, because even though it means I do not and will not understand, and I may never have answers, that is a lot more satisfying. I am glad God is Mystery, that God is big, and that nothing is mystery to him.

.oops.

me: so...I may or may not have just flashed some Mormon missionaries...
Jenn: nice work! good for you!
Amy: haha, that's fantastic!
...changing on your balcony? i'm confused how this could happen
me: wrap dress and wind
Amy: ah. that'll do it

.happy fathers' day.

Dad,

A few years ago I was seeing a counsellor who asked me about you. After a few minutes he looked at me and said, "Well, you're never going to get married. Your dad ruined you because you'll never find a man as amazing as your father."

That wasn't really what I wanted to hear, but he's right that you're a really special dad and I'm so thankful for you.

I loved our Saturday morning breakfast dates at McDonald's, just the two of us. I still can't believe you coached my soccer team when you were the father of the worst player on it, but you encouraged me and made me feel like I was actually decent (I don't really know how I believed that considering in all those years I never once scored a goal).

Thanks for putting up the bookshelves in my room with me. That was a really fun project/birthday present and I was so excited to spend time with you, and also use power tools. Except I don't think you let me use them, just hold the wood, haha. Which probably just goes to show your wisdom. And also your patience with me.

Thanks for encouraging my love of reading and of learning. I loved going to the ROM or Science Centre or Casa Loma as a kid (let's face it, I'd still love them today) and learning about all sorts of things. Thanks for taking turns with mom reading out loud to us after dinner. That was always my favourite time of the day.

I know you've taught me a hundred times when to say "bring" and when to say "take" but I still say it wrong sometimes. But although that lesson may not have sunk in as much as you would have liked, another one did. I can still hear your voice admonishing me to "think before you speak, Meghan." I never was good at that, a little too on the impulsive side, but I have tried to take it to heart and consider the impact of my words before verbalising them. I think that has helped me in becoming a counsellor as well. You are a wise man. People listen when you speak because they know that what you have to say is worth listening to. I admire this in you, and hope to live up to it as well.

Thanks for giving us special treats. We always knew you had a bit of a softer spot than mom for letting us eat cookies instead of carrot sticks or something. But it was great, because it made those things a little more special. Even last summer when you and I picked up the kayaks, you got us hot chocolate and chips for our ride home. Good thing mom wasn't there to object, haha.

I have always looked forward to seeing you. I remember racing to be the first to see you when you got home from work every night. I always knew I could get a quick hug before running back to the dinner table. And I don't think I ever understood how hard you worked for us. But I thank you so much for all the sacrifices you made for us, to make our lives a little easier.

I never realized how stressful and scary it must have been when we moved to Owen Sound and you had to support our family with very little support around for you. But I'm so glad you followed God's leading, and I'm so glad to have grown up in such a wonderful town. Thanks for setting such a great example of a man who follows after God's heart, even when it doesn't always make sense or it's hard or scary.

Because you are so steady, I always know I can turn to you. Even if you shake your head at me because I am ridiculous, you are always there. Thank you.

Daddy, I love you!
~Megs

.ghost town.

So after Vancouver we drove down to Portland. First we stopped at the outlet mall near Seattle that Jenn raved about. She wanted me to buy her a coach purse, but they were all ugly. I mean, I don't really understand the whole coach/name brand thing to start off with but they did not look good. But I did find some pretty shoes. I do have an issue with shoes. I just love them so much!
Anyways, by the time we made it through terrible traffic on the Monday of the memorial day weekend, it was evening, and we hadn't planned where to stay. So we drove downtown to the peach district I had been told to visit, and popped into a Safeway to ask for directions to a cheap hotel nearby. The first 3 people we talked to all commuted in and didn't know, but one guy offered to use the GPS on his phone. I'm not really sure how that would help since we had no location, but maybe you can search for hotels and things on that? I don't know how they work. But anyways, one of the ladies at the customer service directed us over a bridge and thought there might be some hotels nearby, and sure enough there was one! However, when I saw it Iturned left into it on a street where I wasn't allowed to turn left. Oops! Nothing happened, so it was fine. There was a really cute Indian man who worked there who was a recent immigrant. I asked him if they accepted air miles, and he checked his list of acceptable credit cards and said no, just Visa, Mastercard, and AmEx.
We had a nice walk around town that evening, and nothing was open. There were no people around, except for the bikers who almost knocked us over repeatedly on the bridge. We found one cafe open, and the guy was really nice. We walked around and looked in the windows of a whole bunch of art galleries and made sure to check them out the next day.
The next day when we went to the galleries, there was one that had an amazing windown display but the display inside, about books, kind of traumatized us. We went in other galleries which were really great, and one that had some pieces by Picasso and Salvador Dali! But even on this day, the city felt abandoned, and there weren't many people around. We had lunch in a cute little tea restaurant, and then headed for Cannon Beach.

.stranger with your door key explaining that i'm just visiting.

First Leg:
So Amy and I recently went on a delightful road trip.
We left Friday morning and drove to B.C. This road had construction. And slow-moving cars. Which was really just a sign of things to come. Anyways, we also almost hit some elk that decided to chill in the middle of the highway. They are bright creatures. But thankfully they meandered to the shoulder and we scooted past.
There was no "WELCOME TO BC" sign for me to take a picture with, which was kind of sad. But we stopped in Golden for lunch and took pics with an inuksuk. The lady at the A&W was super friendly and promised to look into why iced tea costs 5 or 10 cents (or whatever the difference is) more than other pop.
Then we went out for dinner with Amy's sister and bro-in-law in Abbotsford at White Spot. They forgot my cashews in my salad, so I asked my waitress to please bring them to me on the side. She forgot, so she said she'd give me a discount. I figured that meant a few bucks, but didn't charge me for my salad at all! Free dinner is a great way to start a vacation, I must say.
We continued on to Vancouver where we followed a treasure map to find the keys to my friend Josh's apartment. Unfortunately he and his wife had left for vacation earlier that day so we didn't get to see them, but at least we had a little adventure getting in. We had to go to the south side of the building, to the garden, look under a blue milk crate, and then under a rock where the keys were resting amidst some dirt and earwigs.
Their apartment is super cute, and in a great area of town. And on one bookshelf all their books are arranged by colour. It was really pretty, even if that is pretty random. So we had a welcome letter from Josh with a long list of things we might need to know, which was pretty sweet. And it made me laugh. Apparently I hadn't mentioned that I was travelling with a female friend and he clarified that house rules were such that the bed could not be shared by unmarried people of the opposite gender.
We went for a few nice walks, we parked downtown and walked to Granville Island (which we made it to eventually...), and then we went to Stanley Park. I took some pictures of Amy in buttercups and told her to put one under her chin. She had no idea what I meant. I was like, you know, do you like butter? And she was like, what the heck? Apparently there aren't any buttercups in Alberta. Or Saskatchewan (Jenn hasn't heard of this either). But other people we talked to totally knew what I was talking about, and we found an old poster of it in a cheese factory in Oregon a few days later, so I felt less crazy. In Stanley Park we took pictures of the totem poles, and, well...like father like daughter. Let's just say I got some strange/disgusted looks by an elderly couple as I pretended to defile one. As we were walking around there were some rude bikers who rushed at us from the roller blade lane (the roller blade lane was supposed to justify their presence). We also watched some sea planes taking off near a lighthouse, and then we went and played frisbee before heading back home. We made the most delicious pesto pizza with sundried tomatos and pesto we'd found at the market in Granville Island.
On Sunday we brought a blanket and the guitar to the park where we sang songs until we were forced to relocate due to a softball game. There was a guy on the one team who actually had the baseball socks. We thought it was really fun, and we wanted to get a picture of him, so we may or may not have looked slightly creepy trying repetively to get a good shot, haha.
Then Amy went and visited with some old friends from Bible college, and I went to Andy Lambkin's church with Jonathan and Judith. It was great to seem them (again) and I also really enjoyed their church.
After church I went and hung out with Amy and her friends. As we were sitting eating pizza in the park, I looked up and there was a guy on the hill wearing crotchless pants. I was somewhat shocked, and I said "That guy has crotchless pants!" and then I realized that he heard me. Oops! Well, if you're going to wear crotchless pants with neon green boxers in public, then you're probably expecting comments, right?
And...that is pretty much the end of our Vancouver adventure. More still to come...

.romance.

Last night as Amy, Jenn and I were walking back from playing frisbee in Prince's Island Park (I just bought a new frisbee and it's pink and lights up. I know that's ridiculous, but they didn't have any non-lighting-up frisbees, and I figured if it lights up I might as well go all the way girly and get a pink one) and we saw a guy across the river checking his watch.
Amy wondered if maybe he was waiting for someone. I said maybe he just wondered what time the sun was setting. Amy was determined to express that this could be a romantic story. We do tend to have fun making up stories about other people's lives. Anyways, she said that maybe he was waiting for his date. I was like, that's just creepy, meeting a blind date at a river, and Jenn concurred. Poor Amy was frustrated with us ruining her imagined romantic moment. She was like, "No guys, this is supposed to be romantic. You're missing the point. Maybe it was a scavenger hunt and he had her following clues all over the city, and the last clue is supposed to lead her to him!" and we were like Oh! That is so romantic! What a wonderful idea!
I think working at the Pregnancy Care Centre can make us rather cynical and jaded sometimes...

.happy mother's day.

Mom,
I'm writing this in the middle of the night because I can't sleep. I got food poisoning and I've been emptying my stomach. I can't remember the last time I vomited, which is probably a good thing because I hate it so much, but as awful as it has been tonight, I am also feeling somewhat nostalgic.
I know that I am mature and independent and responsible, but a part of me would like for you to be here right now like you were when I was a child, with a cool hand on my forehead, brushing my hair out of my face and the tears from my cheeks. It's not that I want to go back in time, just that I am becoming more thankful in this moment.
Thank you for those interrupted nights that you sacrificed your sleep to comfort one of us kids when we were sick. (Especially Steps, cuz when he gets sick...he gets sick!)
I think I've taken you and dad for granted a lot. You made so many sacrifices in your career for us. Thank you for staying home for so many years, baking with us, reading with us, encouraging our creativity through play-doh or painting or writing. To this day I miss your home made cinnamon buns, although I know that they often meant a night of insomnia for you. (I really hope that's something I don't inherit.)
I admire you in a lot of ways, mom. You are such a comforter and encourager. I don't think even you could count the number of times you spent your time off visiting someone in the hospital or bringing them flowers at home. You find little ways of making people feel loved and special. I appreciate randomly getting a card in the mail, being reminded that I am in your thoughts, and always in your prayers. Thank you for setting such a wonderful example for me to live up to.
I also admire your dedication and your love for your own mother. I know that it cannot be easy to see her every week, never knowing if she'll remember you or not, but choosing to spend time with her and love her anyways. You bring her a treat from home, either from your garden or your kitchen, and for those few hours you make Grandma feel so loved and valued.
A part of me is scared that when you grow old your mind will slip as well, and although the thought horrifies me, I can say that you have provided me with a beautiful example of how to show you love even if you're not the same mother I've always known.
Thank you.
Love,
Megs