het sneeuwt

Yay! Finalement! We have a light dusting of snow!
Yes, usually I am not the biggest fan of snow because it involves shovelling and drippy (or frozen) noses, and numb extremities.
BUT the lights look so much prettier covered in white, and so I will now be able to walk downtown because it's worth it, and that will be better than the drivebys I've done already.
And also Amelia and Curtis bought me, not only a toque, but also a matching scarf and mittens, so I'll look cute while I walk around the lights! haha. Hopefully this time no drunk guys will try to pick me up (Meil and Marike, do you remember that? and Tim Green walked by and "rescued" us?).
Also this year which I am excited about...I will be going skating! Which will be the first time in 2006. On the 31st. Sad and pathetic, I know. But it's not my fault the canals don't freeze in the Netherlands!
The plan right now is for Amelia and me to go down to Rochester on the 2nd, stay til the 3rd then come back and I'll meet Roz in Toronto and buy a bridesmaid dress. Or something like that. Should be fun...I like holidays.
My throat is pretty sore this morning, so I hope I'm not getting whatever Amanda had...but I suppose this could be a late surge attack from the same thing I had last week. I don't really know how bacteria work. Good thing we have vitamin C and echinacea!

finito!

I am done 5 of 6 classes! and 45% done the 6th!
So basically I'm 1/4 done my Masters. Woohoo!
Tonight I'm going to see The Holiday with my housemates and tomorrow I am going home!!!
The only disappointment about that is the lack of snow. It needs to snow. And I need to walk around the lights in the snow. And I need to toboggan and skate, and maybe even ski? (haha, probably I'll wait and do that here)
And girls night with fondu...
And finding my bridesmaid dress for Mel's wedding...
And family Christmases! Which I missed last year and am quite excited about this year.
I need to print a bunch of pictures from Amsterdam actually so I can more easily show people a piece of my life last year.
Marci had a book in class today that she made about her trip to Hawaii a month or two ago, and so I'm thinking of writing a book about Amsterdam (more pictures than writing). blurb.com is a really cool website and way of making a book. So that is how I'll preoccupy myself for the next little while.
Anyways, it feels good to be done...now I just need to pack.

food glorious food!

A smorgasboard of my thoughts.
I can go from Chinese food to Ice Age to prayer in a few seconds flat.
Allow me to walk you through my thought process.
(The elimination of all the in between stages is what makes other people consider me random. I promise, I am not completely losing it. Yet.)

You know you're hungry and sick of your own food when everything smells good as you walk down the street. In the course of a minute I went from craving chicken balls to Shawarma, but not the Canadian stuff, the Shoarma in Amsterdam like that one time Marco and I got some before home group and we ate it at Vondelpark with the crazy guy beating a fish and the crowd cheering.
So basically, I'm sick of the casserole I made because it lasts me at least a week and that's just a really long time for one thing. And cooking for one person is just annoying.
Also, I went to make a sandwich for my lunch today and my bread was moldy. So I had to have casserole for lunch. *sigh*
And I am also reminded of Oliver because they sing "Food Glorious Food!" and it's a great song from a great musical and then in Ice Age II they do a very amusing rendition of the song and that's a very funny movie also if you haven't seen it. We watched it twice last Sunday (not the whole movie, just the fire king and food glorious food scenes because they were the best) and I enjoyed laughing and being with a whole bunch of people I barely know because it's always fun to make new friends.
And also that made me miss garbage bag rug wrestling cuz some of the guys started a tickle wrestling fight of some sort and I was thinking how if Jacoline or Tina were here they could totally beat these guys and it would be so fun to see, just like Tina fought at the beach, and Westerpark for that matter, and Jaco at the Willemsstraat.
Oh, and the beach, and sleeping outside all night...I can't wait to do that again, but I guess I'll have to wait unless I want to freeze. This summer I will find a time to do it. Like Sarah and me in Noord Amsterdam, haha. And how cool that God uses random ideas to become major experiences where we learn more about the power of prayer.

And then my bus showed up and a new chain of thoughts began.

2nd Annual Christmas Karaoke Extravaganza

So last night I went to the young adults Christmas party at Beddington. Sorry, the 2nd Annual Christmas Karaoke Extravaganza.
It was a nice break from my paper which was almost finished, so I could have a good time and not be stressed out.
It was fun. I have a lot of videos of karaoke which will come back to haunt people someday, I am sure. And yes, I even sang a song. None of these videos will be posted on my blog, but it is a distinct possibility that they may make their way to my dropshots account.
Probably the most random part of the evening was when a guy I just met a few hours earlier asked me out. Oh college and career groups *rolls eyes*

Desert Places

Snow falling and night falling fast, oh fast
In a field I looked into going past,
And the ground almost covered smooth in snow,
But a few weeds and stubble showing last.

The woods around it have it--it is theirs.
All animals are smothered in their lairs.
I am too absent-spirited to count;
The loneliness includes me unawares.

And lonely as it is, that loneliness
Will be more lonely ere it will be less--
A blanker whiteness of benighted snow
With no expression, nothing to express.

They cannot scare me with their empty spaces
Between stars--on stars where no human race is.
I have it in me so much nearer home
To scare myself with my own desert places.

~Robert Frost

survivor

Jeff had the greatest line on Survivor the other night.
Candace was just voted off so she hugged Parvati goodbye and had one last kiss with Adam and then Jeff says "Nice kiss. Maybe if it had been love he would have given you the immunity necklace." BURN!
I hope Parvati and Adam are next, and then Jonathan...I know Yul would have basically a 100% chance of winning against the man, but he's so weasily I can't take much more, haha. As long as Yul wins I'm happy though.

-40 C with windchill

*warning: rant may ensue*

Today is cold. Not the coldest I've ever experienced, but with windchill it was supposed to be -40. sorry, -39.3. Let's round it off to -40, shall we?
Truthfully, while it is definitely biting cold out, it does not feel like -40. Thankfully.

The thing about Calgary is they don't have snowplows. Well, I have seen one, maybe two. But they do not plow the road, let alone the sidewalks. I have to wonder how a province with such a massive surplus in their budget again cannot afford to plow their streets when it snows.
The Calgarians claim it's because all their money goes "out east", referring to Ontario. They believe that because the federal government is located in Ottawa, all their money therefore goes to Ontario. That is an excellent explanation for how our municipal taxes pay for our local snowplows.
My theory is that because Calgary experiences such strange, drastic weather they decided not to invest in snowplows. If they stick it out a few days without dying a chinook is bound to come and it will all melt. So why waste the energy and money on plowing when in a week or so it could all be gone naturally?
I would also like to say that if I were truly from "out east" I would be saying "It's some cold out here!" with a strong Maritime accent. Ontario is not "out east". Granted it is east of here. But I don't refer to Manitoba as "out west" even though it's west of where I grew up. So let's change the diction, shall we?
Also, while I know I'll have great love for chinooks, there's just something comforting about having 4 distinct seasons which are predictable. Maybe one of these years I'll be back in Ontario where I can experience that again...

Holy Love

Many waters cannot quench your love

Rivers cannot overwhelm it

Oceans of fear cannot conceal your love for me

Your love for me

Holy love, flow in me, fill me up like the deepest sea

Like a crashing wave pouring over me

Holy love, flow in me

Many sorrows cannot quench your love

Darkness cannot overwhelm it

I will not fear, your love is here to comfort me

You comfort me

When I find you I find healing

When I find you I find peace

And I know that there's no river so wide

No mountain so high, no ocean so deep

That you can't part the sea

~Andy Park

Wow. I was reminded tonight of how much this song has meant to me in the past and how powerful it still is to me today.

This counselling program is ridiculous...in a good way. We are being so incredibly challenged daily to grow in every aspect of our lives.
I have so many struggles and it is impossible to run away from them anymore.
And it's good.
And I love it.
And I hate it.
It is so exhausting!
I'm learning to be more emotional...but I can't take the time to feel when I have homework up the wazoo.
So this is a big struggle for me right now...dealing with my academic life as well as the rest of me and finding the balance. Because with my counselling homework I can do them both because I need to talk about what's going on in me. But with my Bible classes I need to be more academic (more for NT than for OT) and I am so broken emotionally that I'm too exhausted to do school work. And this is a bad situation.
So please pray for me that I have strength to do it all. It's hard when I have to say "Sorry God, I can't sit and meditate right now. I can't just be. I know we were just getting somewhere, but Paul Spilsbury isn't going to accept that as an excuse for me not having his homework done."
And I know that God will provide time for me to get everything done...but still. It is difficult. And really hard to switch modes. I used to be able to do it no problem, but this stinkin' emotional stuff keeps getting in the way, haha.
Ok, that's my little rant, I'm going to finish a bit more work and get to bed.

jip en janneke

So I was reading Jip and Janneke: Oe! Een koe! met Merissa tonight...so cute!
Seriously, we were laughing so hard at their antics.
Thank you Nynke for the book; I love it!

busy

I haven't written a "real" post in a while...but my life is just so dang busy! haha
Basically I'm a loser and I stay home and do homework...but this past week I was also sick so home was just nice.
Friday I went out and watched the game (the Flames won again if you were wondering) and watched V for Vendetta which I enjoyed...
Last night was Merissa and Dan's birthday party at Marley's. That was fun...I talked to Amanda which was nice because we hadn't ever really talked before. And we sang in the stairwell which was beautiful. I think I got a bit on video so I'll post it sometime on my other blog. Adam sang bass sometimes and it resonated amazingly in there. Beautiful.
Oh! And the best part was when I got Darcy back! A while ago (on mission day at school) Adam tossed an orange at Darcy, and I knew that since I was sitting next to Adam Darcy would accidentally hit me instead. Which is of course what happened. He was very apologetic, but I happily informed him that I would pay him back when he least expected it, when he had completely forgotten that I was going to get him back. True to my word, that is exactly what happened. (Maybe the moral of this story is that I'm good at predicting things?) Last night Nicole didn't want the rest of her cake, so I asked her if I could have it. Darcy was sitting next to me on the couch and I pretended to eat it as I waited for an opportune moment. There it was! Amy was taking a picture of Darcy! Oh yes, I smashed that cake into his face and it stuck, napkin and all. Such a beautiful moment. I also have a picture of the after effects which I shall post on my other blog sometime soon. So basically I overdid it in my getting him back and we are now in an ongoing prank war. Anyways...it should be fun. Oh, Freek, feel free to give me some advice on pranking since we never did team up on others like we said we would...
Um, today...I went to church with Thora! and Ashley was there too. I really liked it; I think I'll go back next week also. Maybe I'll get involved with the youth group there or something.
And now...because my life is oh-so-interesting...I'm going to do some more homework.
Wow...the wind is SO LOUD right now. Howling is definitely an accurate description.
There's your update on the eventful life of Meghan Thomson.
cheers!

curious

Merissa told me I should write this blog, so I am.
Who in New Zealand around the Christchurch vicinity is reading my blog?
haha, I'm just curious.

on a completely different note, my feet really smell today.

today

Calgary was beautiful today, all white and floating in fog.

I discovered (again) how unskilled I am at foosball. You're supposed to score on the other team. Right. Actually, I did better than I expected and it was a lot of fun, so I am pleased.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NYNKE!

worldwide communication

Canada connected to Portugal and Germany today. Good day, this. And I'm definitely a fan of the internet. And Skype. And msn for that matter. Inventions that make my life a little brighter.

halloween

Last week when we went to the Superstore (oh the tired feet after that one) we bought two pumpkins. Thankfully Julie is tall; otherwise I'd have likely fallen into the pumpkin bin. My feet were off the ground and I was balancing on my stomach on a cardboard box. Not the brightest thing I've ever done.
Anyways, we planned on giving one of the pumpkins to the girls next door, but we forgot. So tonight we had 2 uncarved pumpkins and the kids were already trick or treating. So Nicole and I carved them (while listenging to Christmas music!!) and spiced up the pumpkin seeds and popped 'em in the oven and made the upstairs living room look gezellig for Julie's small group.
Bad night to have people over who will be ringing the doorbell when we didn't get candy to give away to all the obnoxiously loud kids dressed up in winter coats.
And on that note I'd like to say that dressing up for halloween when there's snow on the ground and it's minus degress is not the most fun experience I wouldn't think. Anyways, I'm going to post some pictures of our uber cool pumpkins here.

covenant awards

A few days ago we heard that the Covenant Awards were being presented at Centre Street. However, we thought it was all just gospel music. Yeah, we'd never heard of them before. But the radio announced that Starfield and downhere and Brian Doerksen etc. were playing and we thought "Dang, that's not so bad after all!" so we bought tickets to go.
(The Covenant Awards are like the Canadian Christian Grammy's)
We assumed that the dress code was formal, but the girl who sold me the tickets didn't know, so I called the church to find out, and they gave me some other number belonging to who knows who and the guy asked me if I was getting an award. Does my voice sound that great over the phone that people assume I can sing? Hmm...And, what difference does it make if I'm getting an award or not, since the dress code was formal? Of course he added that although it is formal, there would probably be some people in jeans. Jeans? To an awards show? What are these people thinking?
Well, Julie and I got all dressed up. But there's a problem with formal dresses, and that is the cold factor. So what do you think I did? Of course, I wore sweat pants under my dress. Julie thought I was crazy, but her cold legs convinced her to follow suit. And yes, we did take pictures of us looking absolutely ridiculous, but I don't have them on the computer yet. Patience, all, patience. Anyways, we jumped out of our sweats and left them in the car and met Christy (perfect timing!) at the door and we all went in.
It was a really fun night, and I am now a fan of people of whom I'd previously never heard. Like Amanda Falk. Way cool...great singer, and involved in a ministry that sounds awesome. Maybe I'll be involved in that, or something like it someday? I also liked Adreanne Lafleur, possibly because I think French is beautiful, and I could kind of understand it when she sang. Mostly I was just glad to have some French people representing, haha. The Joe was absolutely hilarious. I wish he lived around here so we could be friends and he could make me laugh all the time. "Half heart!" Random. Oh, and there was this lady dancing to him and couldn't help but burst out laughing. Maybe that is mean, but if you had seen her too you probably would have laughed. And I also really liked The Silent, and of course the fact that they're from New Brunswick. Quite enjoyable, and the lead singer has crazy facial hair going on. Crazy in a very well groomed sort of way. I wish I could have heard Shezza, but oh well. It's pretty cool that there's a category for Aboriginal Song though.
So I think that's all I feel like saying about the Covenant Awards. We're definitely going again next year (and we'll get cheaper tickets cuz we'll know about it early. Smart thinkers, us) so if you're in Calgary on October 26, you're welcome to come also.

Oh! And there is snow on the ground which is quite breathtaking. Ahh, snow. If only I had winter boots. *sigh* It's funny, usually I'm like "ugh, snow, grr" but not right now. Probably that will come in January. And February. And, come on, let's face it, August. October, though. Almost November. Sounds just about right. Have a blessed day; remember that God washes us even whiter than snow! What an amazing gift!

is God omniscient?

I think that OT Foundations with Rick Love is my favourite class. He really makes us think and question and go back to the Bible. Constantly. And I love it, but sometimes I wish he'd give us straight answers. Although, I'm learning that there are hardly ever straight answers. So it's a cool journey to be on.
Anyways, the current question I have (which maybe you can help me with) is how do we know that God is omniscient? Like where in the Bible does it indicate that? Because there are a lot of verses about Jesus being limited in his knowledge (I assume because of his humanity but he is also God incarnate) but where does it say God is omniscient? I think this really boils down to your theology on free will...but for now, some verses would be welcome!

sunrise

This morning as Ashley and I were driving to the airport we saw a prairie sunrise. It looked like the sky was on fire. You know how when you have a big bonfire the embers just glow? That's the same colour the sky was this morning.
Breathtaking.

Have you ever been blown away by God's love? Tonight at church it was suggested that Jesus may not have known if his separation from God would be temporary or eternal. That he knew he'd conquer death, but he was unsure of whether he'd ever be in such close community with God his Father again. I don't know if that's true or not, but the thought that he risked eternal separation from God, even momentary separation, is huge.
Amazing.

funny story

Last night Dan was sitting at my desk doing stuff with my computer and when he stood up, this string stretched from his butt to my chair. Obviously this surprised me, and I had an odd look on my face as I said, "What's on my chair?"
It was either gum or sticky tack, but since I have blue sticky tack and haven't been chewing gum, it was a mystery. Dan had been chewing gum earlier, but this gum was fruity and neither of us had fruity gum. This information took a little longer to attain than for you to read, because we were both laughing so hard. Dan went to the bathroom to try to get the gum off his pants, and I scraped my chair as best I could and then went to tell Nicole and Stawan the story.
Mystery solved! Through her laughter, Nicole was able to explain that she had (for some unknown reason) put her gum on the trunk, and Dan had sat there. I guess none of us saw the gum, and Nicole and Stawan had forgotten about it, so that's how it happened.
Wow, this looks like a really lame story now that it's written down. It was quite hilarious at the time, I promise.

reasons why i'm a dork...

...as of this evening. We'll limit my dorkiness a bit.
1. I am now addicted to Little House on the Prairie
2. I am a klutz. Now, anyone who knows me is already aware of this. So let me tell you my most recent story. About a minute ago, Julie's dad called. I answered the phone, which was a bit awkward since I had a brownie in one hand and a text book in the other, but the text book found a home in my lap, and life went on. Until the phone was for Julie, who is upstairs. I set down my brownie (very sacrificial, but I couldn't move the text book otherwise) and proceeded to rush upstairs calling out to Julie Spanish-style. I could hear her laughin, saying "since when does Meghan call me that?" when I tripped/slid/did-something-awkward that looked really funny down the 2 little steps into the living room (no, I did not fall) and passed the phone on to Julie. She couldn't even answer she was laughing so hard. And my chest began to hurt. Which is odd, because I laugh all the time. Maybe I had a chunk of brownie stuck and it was hard to breathe.

Ok, so far that's all I've got. But stick around, many more adventures to come, I'm sure.

snow

Oh, what a beautiful morning! Oh, what a beautiful day. I've got a beautiful feelin', everything's going my way!

So maybe it's a little odd that the theme to Oklahoma is in my head, but it is so beautiful outside right now! There's a light blanket of snow covering the earth. And it continues to gently float down.

There's something refreshing about the first real snow of the season. A little reminder of God's grace.

(Oh, and it certainly helps that we got our heat fixed, haha.)

Let everything that has breathe praise the Lord!

cold

I'm currently wearing fuzzy socks, jogging pants, jeans, a longsleeved shirt, 2 hoodies, and a vest. I was still cold, until I went outside. Now I am warm. Somehow my house manages to be colder than outside...

thanksgiving

So this was Thanksgiving weekend! And I determined not to do any work for the whole weekend, which was an amazing decision. I am thankful that my Saturday class got switched to next week.
Friday I had my first counselling and then the plumber didn't come and then my cousin did! So I got to see Jo again and we met her friend Charles. He kept us quite entertained until like 3:30 when we decided sleep would be a good thing, especially since they had to go to a wedding the next day, and buy a gift first.
Saturday I tried to sleep in a little, but the plumber was supposed to come in the morning. He didn't actually come until after 1, but he was quite attractive and we had a lovely conversation and he fixed our bathtub!!!!!! so it was worth the wait. Then Ash and I watched the 5 hour Pride and Prejudice with a few naps in there, even though it is my favourite movie ever. Then most people came home and we chatted late into the night again...
Sunday we went to church and then went to Kananaskis to go hiking. (my pictures from this weekend can be found here) It was a beautiful day, albeit chilly, and a nice hike. The goal was to see wildlife, and deer didn't count. But they had to, because all we saw was a chipmunk and 3 deer. We listened to Rascall Flatts in the car which made me smile. And we went to Tim Hortons for dinner, so I got a turkey sandwich. Not as good as a leftover sandwich, but it's good enough I guess. Then we stayed up all night talking and trying to get warm since our heater doesn't work. Julie had a space heater which we turned on in the basement living room and we all cuddled with blankets and fell asleep basically. Good times.
Monday we slept in...it was beautiful! And we made pancakes and talked (what is with us girls and talking, hahaha) and then went to Kananaskis again for another hike. I will admit, I am sore today. But I'd still go hiking again tomorrow. We saw an elk, a coyote, and 12 deer tonight! So sweet. And we brought back a CD Ashley had in high school and listened to S Club 7 and O Town and Destiny's Child. Oh man...that was weird/fun. Oh, and when I got home I talked to my parents, so that was nice. And I think they were pleased that I wasn't a mess on the phone, but there was no indoor stream to upset me, and it was actually warmer inside than out, so I was doing well, haha.
And now I'm going to post some pictures from this weekend here so check 'em out.
Happy (Canadian) Thanksgiving everyone!

*random note, the last post was number 200*

life

I went to my first couselling session today. Surprisingly enough, I didn't cry (I know my dad must be shocked at this since I burst into tears when I talk to him on the phone about my landlord).
This is what I found out:
I'm healthy.
I'm mentally stable.
I'm constructively and positively handling issues in my life.
The same advice I was given was the exact same advice I'd given someone yesterday. I think sometimes I need to hear someone say it to me, because I'm too busy looking at the other person's situation. So that was kind of cool. I really wanted her to dig and find stuff in me, because I know that I have issues, but I feel like I'm dealing with them pretty well (which she and Jun have both confirmed). Maybe it's because during the times in my life when I really needed counselling and didn't get it I learned skills that help me process things and deal with them positively, and now I'm assertive enough to apply them to my life. I don't know. But I do konw that God is good.
Seriously, I rely on Him more and more every day. Giving Him every thought and emotion and idea and struggle and whatever. Rick Love's talk in chapel on Wednesday was a doozy. Love the unloveable. I know this is a theme that has been in my life since I was in Amsterdam, but he just happened to remind me right before the landlord issues arose. Praying for your enemies, or those who persecute you is really hard. And it's not something I ever want to say and not mean. I never want to pray words I don't truly mean. So when Merissa and I were praying for Reg, we were sobbing. Seriously straining to get the words out and truly mean them.
I am sure that God calls us to pray for the people it's hard to pray for and hard to love because it changes us. It's all about changing our hearts. And not to say that I'm not still mad at Reg, because I am. But God is working on me and my heart and my attitude, and it is already a lot easier for me to pray blessings on him.
So, I guess the conclusion is, consider yourself lucky if I've been mad at you recently, because I'm praying blessings on you, haha. But don't worry, if I'm not mad at you I'm still praying blessings for you too.
Praise the Lord. For never giving up on me, even when my heart is hard. For softening my heart and teaching me how to forgive. For giving me a peace (that people can apparently see in my eyes). For showing me what true love really is.

boys *angry face*

I've said before that seminary boys are all either married or desperate, and I stand by that statement.
Today as Merissa and I were walking to school to go to chapel (she came with me today so we could go shopping after with Ashley, which we never actually really got to (getting girls together usually involves more talking than shopping, at least for us)) and this guy from seminary, who will remain nameless, was walking by, and since we've had a few conversations I smiled a hello to him, but he ignored me. I shrugged it off, thinking he hadn't seen me. Oh, I was wrong.
After chapel he was asking Ashley if he'd seen her this morning and ignored her, and she said no, but he was sure that he had and asked if she'd been with us, and she said no, so he asked me, and I said, "yeah, I saw you outside and I smiled at you but I thought you didn't see me" and he said, "Oh, sorry. I didn't recognize you. Actually, to be honest, I was checking you out." And I was like "What?" and spun around and went to the bathroom (where I had previously been heading) because I did not know at all how to react to that. And of course I apparently turned red. Cursed pale skin. Anyways, I didn't really hear the rest of what he said, but Ashley told me later (as she was reliving the story to someone else to mock me *sigh*) but Merissa said really loudly just after he left "Who says that?" so maybe he heard it? Merissa thinks I should tell him he was rude, and Ashley thinks I should say to him next time he's talking to me "I'm sorry, I didn't hear you, I was checking you out" but I definitely don't want to do that and lead him on. Anyways, that was my frustrating story of the day.
Yes, you're allowed to mock me, everyone else has.

Also, I would like to say I made Gilmore jump straight up into the air earlier tonight. It was hilarious. He and I have made peace and I'm nice to him when he's nice to me, and I kick him when he bites. It's a pretty good relationship. Tonight I even played with him a bit, which involved chasing him (he's very quick. I am not) and he'd pretend to bite me and run away and be scared when I chased him. Not overly amusing, I suppose, but I am pleased that we've reached a new level in our relationship, haha. Ashley says that secretly I don't hate him; I love him. Who knows, she could be right? He's still a stupid cat, except when he's really cute. And it was really funny when he punched me in the eye the other day. I probably should have been more mad, but it made me laugh really hard. Probably because he didn't have his claws out.

be still

Be still, my soul; the Lord is on thy side
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain
Leave to thy God to order and provide
In every change He faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul; the best, thy heavenly Friend
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

Be still, my soul; thy God doth undertake
To guide the future as He hath the past
Thy hope, thy confidence, let nothing shake
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul; the wave and winds still know
His voice who ruled them while He dwelt below.

Be still, my soul; though dearest friends depart
And all is darkened in the vale of tears;
Then shalt thou better know His love, His heart,
Who comes to soothe thy sorrows and thy fears.
Be still, my soul; thy Jesus can repay
From His own fullness all He takes away.

Majesty

Here I am
humbled by your Majesty
Covered by your grace so free

Here I am,
knowing I'm a sinful man
Covered by the blood of the Lamb

Now I've found the greatest love of all is mine
Since you laid down your life
The greatest sacrifice

Majesty, Majesty
Your grace has found me just as I am
Empty handed, but alive in your hands

Majesty, Majesty,
Forever I am changed by your love
In the presence of your Majesty

Here I am
humbled by the love that you give
Forgiven so that I can forgive

Here I stand,
knowing that I'm your desire
Sanctified by glory and fire

Now I've found the greatest love of all is mine
Since you laid down your life
The greatest sacrifice

~delirious

autumn

I love the crunch of crisp leaves under my feet.

random

I was waiting at my bus stop this morning and some guy sauntered by, looked me in the eye and said, "You're hot." I'm not sure what the appropriate response in this situation should be, but I couldn't help but laugh at him. I'm up for a Saturday morning class, so I obviously don't care how I look. I haven't brushed my hair since Monday. And some random stranger finds me attractive. Strange world, this.

behold!

"Behold, as the clay is in the potter's hand, so are you in my hand" says the Lord

Jeremiah 18:6

This morning in class we meditated on this verse. At first I thought "Ok, are you about done yet?" and then I realized how blessed I am to be held in the hands of my Creator.

As we continued to meditate, the image came to my mind of the potter we were so fascinated with in Japan. We stood there for 15 minutes, just watching him work. And he was making identical pots. Same shape, same height, same width. He methodically made them with gentle yet firm hands, skilled, knowledgable of their task.

At first I thought this is kind of a depressing thought, wondering, are we all the same? But even if we are similar, we still serve a purpose and are useful.

There were other pieces of pottery in the store which were extremely beautiful and expensive. Their purpose was completely different. But they don't underscore the importance of the ordinary.

The other thought I had was of the book A Single Shard which I read a few years ago for my Children's Lit. class. In it there is a master potter who is creative and comes up with a new design. He tries to become the Emperor's chief potter/artist, but due to the kiln destroying his first batch when the Emperor was visiting, he needed to send a boy to the Emperor with samples of his work. The journey was long and hard, and the boy was attacked by robbers. They smashed the pottery with it's beautiful design, and the boy is only able to rescue a piece about the size of his palm. Eventually he makes it to the Emperor who is convinced, even by such a small shard, the the potter is a master. I was thinking of James and Mike and Laura and Jordan...even if their "pots" have "broken" the shards that remain can speak so loudly and clearly of their Maker. The pot in the story did not serve its purpose as originally intended, but even the remnant fulfilled the purpose of showing the Emperor the Master's worth.

Have Thine own way, Lord

Have Thine own way

Thou art the Potter

I am the clay

Mold me and make me

After Thy will

While I am waiting

Yielded and still.

Desert Places

Snow falling and night falling fast, oh, fast
In a field I looked into going past,
And the ground almost covered smooth in snow,
But a few weeds and stubble showing last.

The woods around it have it--it is theirs.
All animals are smothered in their lairs.
I am too absent-spirited to count;
The loneliness includes me unawares.

And lonely as it is, that loneliness
Will be more lonely ere it will be less--
A blanker whiteness of benighted snow
With no expression, nothing to express.

They cannot scare me with their empty spaces
Between stars--on stars where no human race is.
I have it in me so much nearer home
To scare myself with my own desert places.

~Robert Frost

i love jon gedney

You too could be a recipient of my affection. All it takes is a care package filled with homemade chocolate chip cookies and bubble wrap.
Haha, Mister sent me a package that I received today and the cookies still taste really good and it pretty much made my day. So I decided to devote this particular blog to him. Here's a picture of him with the cd wall behind him. All those free hours of AOL internet service...

yes

the candy mentioned in my previous post was durian flavoured

it has snowed in Calgary already

it feels like I will be reading for the rest of my life

Josh and I named my guitar Leslie Leona. but she goes by Leslie.

sweet old man

Yesterday as I was waiting for the bus in China Town there was a cute old asian man sitting next to me. He only spoke one word of English (as I discovered at the end of our short acquaintance) and that is "buh bye". So as we were sitting there, he was eating some candies, and he offered me one. I tried to politely refuse, but he wouldn't accept it, so I decided one couldn't hurt and thanked him. He gave me two. He demonstrated that I needed to open it and eat it immediately, so I did, not wanting to hurt his feelings.
Memories of my childhood immediately surfaced. Remembering when Barry and Cheri Williamson came back from Indonesia and were visiting us. We played with native hunting blow spear things, and had fun shooting arrows in our backyard. When they were leaving, they gave me a candy, which I gladly accepted, and as we waved goodbye I tried desperately not to hurl, because this candy tasted so incredibly nasty. They thought it was a fun joke, and I decided that in years to come I could look back on that moment with laughter.
Memories of Japan flashed back. We were doing the close-your-eyes-open-your-mouth Japanese junk food tasting thing. Josh was sitting next to me, with his eyes open, saying things such as "Good Lord, that's not going anywhere near my mouth!" "That eyeball is staring at me" and other such non-appetizing warnings.
Yesterday, that man gave me the same candy the Williamsons had given me, I'm sure of it. It was absolutely disgustingly horrible tasting. I popped it into my mouth with him looking on, and gave him a quick smile (which hopefully was not a grimace) and I slipped the candy under my tongue until an opportune moment to discretely spit it out.
Then, through our miming conversation, we discovered we were waiting for the same bus. And, surprisingly enough, we got off on the same stop. Right before the stop he shoved 3 more candies into my hand, and then said "buh bye".
So if anyone wants to taste the nasty candy, I have 4 available. Actually, 3 because Nicole wants one.
Also, I forgot the best part of the story. While we were waiting for the bus to come this man started stretching and doing karate type kicks and hand motions for a good 10 minutes. Highly amusing. The man is shorter than I am, and probably at least in his 70s. Dang he was cute though, haha.

themes

of journey, of waiting, of risk, of community, of contentment, of God's goodness, of blessings, of persevering in prayer, of trust

For the word of the Lord is right and true; he is faithful in all he does.
Psalm 33:4

stupid cat

Gilmore is really cute when he's sleeping. Otherwise, I'm seriously wondering if he's possessed. He is a psycho cat who goes nuts for no apparent reason. A few minutes ago the phone rang, so I got up to answer it, and, being my clumsy self, banged my knee really hard on my desk so I couldn't actually walk and so I sort of hopped to the phone. While I was on the phone Gilmore started attacking me...biting my hands and arms and legs (and Julie had just trimmed his front claws, but he still latched on). I kicked him really hard and sent the stupid thing flying and he, of course, tried to attack me again so I yelled at him really loudly (which sent Merissa and Julie running down asking if I was ok) and I'm hoping that he's now afraid of me and will no longer bother me. Good luck, right?
So why is this bundle of terror so adorable every afternoon when he naps on my bed? Why can't he stay in that sweet state during the rest of the day? Crazy cat.

1st day at seminary...

Today was a day.
I got all my sarcasm and frustrations out to God, so all you get is "This is the day the Lord has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it."
And one answer to prayer (not explaining the really long, frustrating story around it) is that we "floaters" are allowed to get transit passes. Don't have it yet...but I am allowed to get one soon. YAY! I started to get really excited and all these freshies were giving me weird looks, but they don't understand the difference between $70 each month and $155 for the whole semester when I'm already technically taking 18 credits.
So God is good and that is the conclusion of the matter.
Now I'm off to read until the rapture.

mmm, lazy long weekend

On Saturday I got to see Mel again and meet Lester! Our communications got a bit crossed and I ended up thinking that I was to "meet" them at the zoo, but really they wanted to "eat" at the zoo. So I got there at 1:30 and waited at the entrance where the C-train stops until 2:50ish when they came running out. They'd gone in the other entrance and then ran through the whole zoo when they saw there was another entrance on the complete other side, haha. So that was an adventure to start off...They were super sweet and paid for me (thanks guys) and we had fun eating (and meeting, haha) and checking out the animals. I'll probably put up some pics on my other blog one of these days. It was so nice to catch up with Mel, and funny because she was talking about her wedding dress and all these details right in front of Lester and he had no clue because he's deaf. Anyways, I was glad to finally meet him, because I'm in their wedding and I hadn't met him yet or given my approval, which he received, so it was good.
On the way back we shoved into the front seat because all Mel's stuff for school filled the truck. Only there really were not three seats in the front. Poor Mel got all squished up and we covered her with sweatshirts so we wouldn't get pulled over (which was good because there was a cop (and an ambulance) a couple houses down from mine).
Then I went to church with Ashley and Merissa and Adam...it was good. He was talking about vision...both for us individually (when he mentioned "teenagers need vision" he definitely looked directly at Ashley and me. we were like, "do we really look that young?") and as a church. So it was a good message...only sometimes I think that God only shows parts of a vision at a time, so I'm going through school right now because of the piece of a vision that He's shown me, but I definitely don't have a clear picture of what it'll be like at the end.
Yesterday Julie and Ashley and I walked in Prince's Island for the afternoon...heel leuk! It's finally summer again here...I love it! Today and tomorrow are supposed to be gorgeous also. Which is funny, because it's rainy and cold in Owen Sound. Ok, that's not funny I guess, but they had all the nice weather before, so it's nice to have the reverse now.
Welp, I think Julie and I are going to some provincial park soon for a walk...that'll be nice. I'm enjoying the long weekend by not doing work. Except for I did read while I waited for Mel and Lester at the zoo. Ok well, that's all for now folks!

skunk

I'm so sure our house got sprayed. I noticed it during our movie and I was like, "guys, do you smell skunk?" and they were like, "no...oh, yes." and it just got progressively worse. Merissa came down from upstairs and she has a cold and can't smell anything and was like, "guys, I smell skunk" so you know it must be bad. By the end of the movie we were all feeling pretty naseous, and Dan called to invite us to Denny's, so we figured why not? I'm pretty sure the not-quite-fully-baked mozz sticks didn't help my stomach too much, but whatever. We had a fun waitress. My room smells really badly. Maybe the skunk sprayed my window. I'm going to try to sleep now.

:)

I just had lunch with my friend Josh. I haven't seen him in 5 or 6 years. So that was really cool to catch up and rehash memories...fun times. I also met 2 of his friends, so that was cool too.
I'm excited about the whole "my friends are coming back to Calgary for school" thing because I haven't gotten to see a bunch of them in such long time. Yay hooray!
Tomorrow Mel and Lester are stopping by on their way to Red Deer, and we might go to the zoo. Heel leuk!
Oh yeah, and today is nice weather! And tomorrow is supposed to be even nicer (26)!
So now I'm in happy mood where I don't want to do work, but I'm going to force myself to read now. Doei!

summer? what's that?

We're all sitting in our house, shivering, with sweaters on. So Julie turns on the heat (which I was unaware of, since I was being a good little girl and reading my book for class) and I notice that my room smells like something is burning. Moments later, the smoke detector is going off and we're following our noses around the house trying to find the source of smoke. We immediately assume that it's the dryer, but it's not turned on. The washer is certainly not smoking. I finally convince everyone that the smell really is coming from my room, but I don't know where it's coming from. I go to turn off my power cord in case something is randomly being fried when I notice hot air blowing out my vent and a strong smell coming with it. Burning dust. So now the heat is off, my room still smells, and the mystery is solved. It's going to be a long winter...

babysitting

I just got back from babysitting next door. Lynn called a while ago asking me to babysit her 7 year old twin girls for an hour while she went to the doctor due to a bladder infection (which she proceeded to describe to me for the next few minutes). Obviously I couldn't not refuse the request of a woman in such intense pain, and headed to the other side of the duplex.
Knowing how to french braid is a handy skill, I've discovered. After braiding Katie and Holly's hair they decided to braid mine...yeah...oops, it fell out!
The girls showed me their birds (very cute) and then Katie read me Green Eggs and Ham while Holly somehow found a clean tampon and thought it was a mouse to make a craft with? Then I helped Holly write in her journal (first entry ever) and then played puppy with Katie. Then we played "Perfection" and then Lynn returned and she chatted with me about how the people who lived here before us were awful and almost set the building on fire. Entertaining story the first time around.
So yup, fun times babysitting...I've discovered I'm not very good at being a dog anymore.

psalm 16

...You are my Lord; apart from you I have no good thing...

I will praise the LORD, who counsels me;

even at night my heart instructs me.

I have set the LROD always before me.

Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.

Therefore, my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices;

my body will also rest secure, because you will not abandon me to the grave, nor will you let your Holy One see decay.

You have made known to me the path of life;

you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.

irony

Chicken clubs have officially struck out and are out of the game. The other night Merissa and Steph both ordered them from Montana's, and not only were they bland, Steph almost choked on a bone. Yesterday when we were at Swiss Chalet I thought the chicken club sounded tasty and delicious, so I ordered it. It was bland, and since (I know, I'm weird) I'm not a fan of swiss chalet bbq sauce, I added the ever-so-flavourful mayo for my tastebuds' delight. It worked, the wrap was successfully enjoyed and life went on. Until 4:00 this morning when I woke up in pain. I proceeded to the bathroom where the contents of my stomach found their way back up through my mouth. And kept coming and kept coming and kept coming. So not pleasant. I hate food poisoning. So at 4:15 when the puking finally ceased (I wasn't kidding about the "and kept coming" part) I tried to flush the toilet, and it would not flush. I clogged it with puke. Sick! And now I don't feel like telling the rest of the story because details aren't pleasant and I've already forced this unpleasant experience on you too much. Oh yeah, I was gonna explain why it was ironic, sorta. Only because we had been talking about food poisoning at dinner earlier while I was eating said chicken club wrap. Ok, enough of the gross story. I'm feeling a lot better now by the way. Not 100% but much improved.

remnants of dutch culture in me

While there are no Albert Heijn's close by, there is a Safeway. And since there are 6 of us living here with 1 fridge I find myself heading there much more frequently. No, not quite the Dutch daily visit, but every other day or so I'll stop by. When I had class I would stop in (since my bus dropped me off right there) and get fresh fruit daily. Heel leuk. Also, I have successfully passed on my cheesy pancake addiction to my housemates and Stawan. And since gouda is the cheapest cheese at Safeway...guess what kind I've been eating? I think the only other "Dutch" thing I do is speak it a little because Merissa is South African and she speaks Afrikaans so we can mostly communicate to each other, which is quite fun.
P.S. I'm not sure why I linked so many things. Just kinda felt like it. The end.

two gentlemen of verona

Merissa and I went to Shakespeare in the Park the other day and saw Two Gentlemen of Verona which was a good play, well performed and such. But we were quite annoyed with the end! Neither of us had read it before, so we weren't sure what to expect. Basic story: Two guys, Proteus and Valentine, are in love with two girls, Julia and Silvia. Then Proteus decides he's in love with Silvia as well and gets his best friend Valentine banished so he can snag Silvia even though he's already promised to Julia. Julia comes to visit as a surprise to Proteus, only she's disguised as a boy, Sebastian. Sebastian and Silvia sort of become friends because Silvia keeps telling Proteus to go back to Julia. He keeps going after Silvia, and tries to rape her until Valentine steps in and stops him. Then Valentine ends up with Silvia, and Julia takes Proteus back. After watching what he was trying to do with Silvia. So the end is pretty frustrating. But Merissa and I were talking about how it seems like that's probably true a lot. And that's really sad, that these girls keep taking back these guys who are jerks, who don't even apologize for being jerks, and pretend that nothing happened. I don't know if that's good forgiveness or just stupidity. Anyways, that's my summary of the play; I'd recommend King Lear. It's much better.

this weekend

On Saturday Julie Nicole and I made a picnic and went to Shakespeare in the Park. It was so well done; definitely worth the $10 donation. Then we walked down to the river and sat there skipping stones and chatting for a few hours. It was such a nice, relaxing Saturday, spending no time with school stuff! I also got this weird sunburn from my shirt and my hair. But I think it's getting better already, which is nice because I really hate tan lines. I know, I'm a girl, haha.
Saturday night Ashley (from my class) drove Merissa (one of my housemates) and me to church and it was really good. Dave Brotherton spoke, so that was neat. And I'm excited because I finally understand the hot/cold thing. Beautiful.
Yesterday I got up early to help Nicole set up at her church and then she had worship team practice and then it was the service. I went to a Nazarene church in Rochester for a year, but it was pretty different from this one. This one was much more traditional. Which is fine, because I like traditional every once in a while. There's something very beautiful about everyone speaking in unison.
Then we went to the Rockies! Which was wonderful because I'd never even seen them before. We went to Kananaskis and hiked to Troll Falls and took a lot of pictures and had water/rock fights and an overall good time. Then we went to some campground on Upper Lake (amazingly creative naming job) and built a raging fire (thanks to Nicole the pyro) and popped popcorn and made s'mores and generally ate too much junk food. It was so beautiful there, with the sun setting over the mountains. Yes, I took pictures of it as well. I just sat on a rock at the water for a long time enjoying the beauty. God is really amazing.
Then 5 of the 6 of us housemates had a bonding experience and an intense time with the Lord. I'm really glad we did, because I hate cushy Christianity, and we got to see God at work.
Anyways, it's a beautiful day out again! and so I'm going to do my school work outside where I can enjoy it. Doei!

bus friends

So I haven't really made any bus buddies yet. There was a lady I talked to a few times, but she hasn't been at the bus stop this week. There's another lady who always gets on and off the bus in the mornings with me, but the bus is pretty full and I don't consider it to be the most opportune moment to become friends with someone when, as my prof puts it, your bumper is bumping their bumper. But this afternoon I practised my listening skills with two guys talking about sweat and beer. Great topics, I know, but I discovered that while the one makes money simply to drink it away, the other tries to please "his woman". Also, he makes bannisters and when he works on "cheap houses, only 8 million or so" that aren't finished yet (without a roof, etc.) in the winter his glue freezes and he needs heaters to blow on him. Interesting, eh? Ah well, they wished me a nice weekend and I returned the sentiment as I stepped off the bus.
A couple houses down from mine a little boy was playing with his grandpa. They had some cool rocket toy thing that attached to the hose and shot up like a geyser. Pretty cool. I wanted to join them, but resisted the urge and restricted myself to simply saying hello.
I finished my second class today. Well, I still have papers to write (only one done so far) and more books to read, but all the in class stuff is done. And we were told we're not allowed to think about any school stuff this weekend. I'm down with that! I'm looking forward to the break. Although today was really good, and I got to "counsel" someone which was a neat experience. Got some good feedback also, so that was helpful. Oh the laughter and tears we've shared together in that classroom...it's pretty crazy how close you get to a group of 18 people over the course of 2 weeks. People discussed real situation that they're going through and it was intense. Really neat though. Ok, now to begin my weekend! Buh Bye computer!

the benjamin gate

Need

The fear I carry in my heart
The things that change and turn around me
What is it that I become?
What is it that it's all undone?
I long to be close to You
So close I disappear into You
Doesn't matter what I try and do
You show me what is real and true
The person that I hope to be
Not bound by anyone's opinion
A person with history
Moving to my destiny

Whatever I'm needing
Whatever I'm feeling
I give up to You
I give up to You

You hold me tight in Your hand
That's when I feel the peace that I crave
You make me brave to withstand
You take me through this barren land
God I hear You speak so clear
Your words melt away my fear
Even when I'm far -
You are near
Your love will never disappear

That's when I lose myself in You...

indecisive

Do you ever feel like you don't know what to write or just don't feel like blogging, but you do it anyways? That's me right now.
All the intensity of last week's class (emotion-wise) is gone. There's actually time to think now, without being so overwhelmed. But somehow, I liked that week better. Maybe it was because God was so clearly at work in us. But then again, it was so intense that I don't know if I could handle that two weeks in a row, so this week is a nice break. Not like it's a break from God. On the contrary, I have more time this week (since I'm not reading Egan, YAY) to spend with him. But in class it's more practical (which makes sense, since it's a practicum) and not as spiritual. It certainly doesn't neglect the spiritual though. Anyways, I'm enjoying this class as well, and it's good practice and I'm learning a lot.
Last night Ashley (one of my classmates...also just moved out here from Ontario) and I went to church. Centre Street church has some 20s and 30s thing called Axis and we figured we'd check it out. Of course we show up on a "sex talk" night, which actually made me curious to see how different it would be from the high school sex talks. And, surprise, they played a video of Tim Bergmann speaking. Haha, so it was kinda fun, cuz I love his sermons. I started to fall asleep during our discussion...I couldn't stop the yawns. It wasn't a bad discussion or anything, just nothing really new. Whatever. Oh, and I randomly saw Steve Adam's brother Jeremy there. So that was kinda cool, even though I'm pretty positive he has no clue who I am, haha.
I miss the Shelter tonight. It would be cool to work another shift and hang out with those people again. But it's ok. I had good closure and I know my time there is over. It's nice to have such good memories, but I do miss people. I think that's the hardest thing about moving from one place to another, as much as I enjoy it. You get attached and then detached and the reattached to people.
Well, although I don't have to read Egan anymore, I do need to finish my paper on him. So I guess I'll go do that...

today

Ahh, Saturday.
Started off...reading Egan. Currently the bane of my existence. Still not quite done, but very close.
I took a break and went to the Taste of Calgary with Julie, which was delicious and fun. It was nice to stop being responsible and studious for a few hours too.
Then, of course, I came back to read more Egan. Also I took a nap. And then read some more.
Then I tried to go to church, haha. I did make it, eventually. Only took 2 hours. I took a bus then a train then a bus then I got off at the wrong spot so I just walked. Good thing I brough my map with me, cuz otherwise I'd probably still be wondering around somewhere. Or reading Egan, haha (I brought him along and read on the train). I got to see the Bergmann's though. So that was really cool. Chatted with Alex a bit, and Tanner remembered me (but Emily didn't. sad story.). My how those kids have grown! Riis is 4 (I guess, since they moved 4 years ago) and I haven't seen him since he was a newborn. Ridiculous. So I got my quota of hugs for the day which was very nice, and Tim prayed with me which was also really cool. God has been blessing my time in Calgary already a lot. And I didn't have to fight with public transportation on the way home because I got a ride from "scary" Joel. Apparently he wanted to scare me, but it didn't work. In any case, I am thankful to meet more people and also thankful that knowing them saves me from public transportation, haha.
So now I am taking a little break from, you guessed it, Egan, and writing a blog. Only I don't have much more to say so I guess I'll see what Egan has in store for me, haha.
Also, happy birthday to my bro, and congrats to Suz and Gary!

I'm still here

I know, I haven't blogged in a while (relative to myself of course), but it's true that I've been really busy! I was talking to Dave last night about the course I'm currently taking (9-4 every day then hours of reading at night. not much time to blog, sorry) and he wants me to post all about it so he can learn what I'm learning. Well, that's not going to happen, but I'll share highlights now and then I'm sure.
It's been so good to be taking this class, and I love how centred it is around God. We start off each day with a devotion, combining art and scripture and our own experiences. Really powerful. And we use Scripture all throughout the class, not just a separate thing at the beginning. Today in the middle of class we burst out into song singing, "We fall down, we lay our crowns at the feet of Jesus. The greatness of his mercy and love, at the feet of Jesus. We cry holy, holy, holy, we cry holy, holy, holy, we cry holy, holy, holy is the Lamb!" I love it. How many other grad classes would do that? So along with knowing God more we're learning a lot about ourselves. Which is a lot to digest and I wish there was more time, haha. But it is really good and I am so convinced that this is where I'm supposed to be.
Ok, so one passage from today (actually Dave, this kind of adds on to our conversation about spiritual beings with human experiences vs human beings with spiritual experiences) is 2 Cor. 5:1-10. We talked about a number of different passages actually, and how they answer the Psalm 8:4 question of "what is man that You are mindful of him?"
So here it is:
Now we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, an eternal house in heaven, not built by human hands. Meanwhile we groan, longing to be clothed with our heavenly dwelling, because when we are clothed, we will not be found naked. For while we are in this tent, we groan and are burdened, because we do not wish to be unclothed but to be clothed with our heavenly dwelling, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life. Now it is God who has made us for this very purpose and has given us the Spirit as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come.
Tehrefore we are always confident and know that as long as we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord. We live by faith, not by sight. We are confident, I say, and would prefer to be away from the body and at home with the Lord. So we make it our goal to please him, whether we are at home in the body or away from it. For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, that each one may receive what is due him for the things done while in the body, whether good or bad.

Side story. I was waiting this afternoon at my bus stop (probably there will be a rant in the near future about public transportation in Calgary) along with a fairly large crowd of people. And a car zooms around the corner up on the sidewalk going at least 40 km/hr and people are jumping out of the way (I personally jumped onto the street after briefly noting there were no cars coming) and it was ramming into buildings and a few people. There were chunks of marble from the buildings on the ground. Large chunks. It was insane. I talked with a man who had been hit in the left hip because he couldn't get out of the way fast enough and he landed on his right arm. One of his shoes was missing (I never could find it) but other than a little bleeding and pain and being shaken up he seemed pretty ok. Some other people looked like they weren't hit at all, but were going into hysterics because of shock and stuff. It was cool how everyone instantly checked to see if others were ok. I asked if anyone had checked to see if the driver was ok, but there seemed to be a crowd around the car so none of the people around me knew. We guessed that he'd had a heart attack or something, but when I went by on the bus he looked completely fine as he talked to the police. I guess I'll have to watch the news tonight to see what they say. Maybe he was drunk or something, I don't know. So that was the unwanted adventure of the day!
Now I've gotta keep reading...

i'm in calgary!

Well...in the past few days I moved from 34 degree weather (which felt like more than 40 with humidity) to 12 degree weather. And I bought and assembled (with my mom) a dresser, bed, desk, chair, and bookshelves. Not bad, I think. And we went to Red Deer yesterday to visit my mom's old friend from Uni. Oh, and we saw Dave Brotherton at the school yesterday, so that was kinda fun. Welp, I think that's all for now. Don't feel like sitting at a computer. Doei!

I have a guitar!

Yup, it's true. Thanks to my bearded bro, I am now a guitar owner. Well, as of December. I can't bring another carry-on to Calgary...I'm too jam packed as it is. But at Christmas I will be able to bring it back with me! My bro called it my "Merry Christmas/Happy Birthday/Congratulations on your engagement" present, haha. Funny kid.
Yesterday was the day I spoke at church...it went well. I said everything I wanted to say I think, and I got a lot of encouraging comments, so good enough. Glad it's over!
Then my mom did one of her "let's invite everyone over for lunch" things and it was fun, and delicious! Roz had 2 friends from school up, Yvonne and Julie (although I already knew Julie from camp) and Julie was like, "wait, your mom invited all these people over for lunch and she doesn't even know how many people are here?" which was amusing. Apparently there were 14 of us. Not bad considering they were all last minute invites. I think.
Anyways, then we went to the beach...I do love Sauble. The water was gorgeous! Steve and I found the remnants of a nerf football and tried to play with it for a while. It fell apart, but was still fun for a little bit. Then we went to Mr. Morley's house (high school english teacher...I never had him tho) but he wasn't there, but Mr. Weinger was walking by (high school history teacher) so we chatted with him for a bit. Always random with Steve. Then we went to Inglis Falls which was good because I hadn't been there in my time back yet. And we randomly decided to go in the falls. The bottom is not smooth and the current is very strong. But we weren't injured, so it's all good. haha, it was fun.
Hmm, what else? Oh yeah, the other day we went sailing on Roz's dad's boat. (we consisting of her dad, Roz, Yvonne, Julie, and me) Very fun! I enjoyed sitting on the front watching the storm clouds gather. Don't worry, we made it back just before it started to rain. Although, I had my handy Heineken poncho/towel from Harald with me just in case, haha.
Well, I think that's a good enough update...Roz and I are going shopping for bridesmaid dresses for Mel's wedding today. Should be fun (if we can find the store, haha). That's all!

soccer camp

A little ironic that I couldn't help out with AIA soccer camp in Amsterdam but I could here. I wish I could have been there more, but oh well. It was fun! I did the craft/snack for the junior soccer camp today...we made dirt. Heel lekker. And sticky, haha. And I helped give everyone prizes...I love how excited Roz was about them. You could see her face light up like a little kid to be giving things away.

It's so weird seeing kids who are no longer kids helping out coaching soccer camp. I'm really impressed with them all. Even shy ones, taking charge...very cool.

I got to see Miriam again! She informed me that I'm never allowed to leave again, so I had to break her little heart and inform her that I'd be leaving on Wednesday. She won't be at church on Sunday, so I'm so glad I got to see her today!
Well, my bro is home, so I'm gonna spend some time with him before the drive in tonight. Hopefully it has some good movies showing!

busy bee

So...I've been home for over a week already. It feels like I've been going nonstop, which has made the adjustment easier I think, because there's always something to do, somewhere to go, someone to see.
This weekend I went down to Rochester (via my grandma's) and hung out with Jay and Marie (and met Mya!) and on Saturday I went to Open Fest (woo woo) and got to see Orchard Drive play (I really liked you guys, even if it was the worst show you've played), along with a bunch of other people, some who were decent, some who really shouldn't have been there. And also Rala came to visit! So we spoke some Dutch together, and Peter tried to pronounce a few words which was amusing. Then at church I got to see some of my kids again (I tore skin off my knee on a pew hugging Lily, haha) and then I went to lunch with Holley! so that was heel leuk.
Then I stayed with my sister and Curtis the other night and then I went to dinner at my cousins' and it was good (Dallas, I got my steak) and fun to catch up with them again.
And now I'm back in Owen Sound again...spending time in Sauble. lekker! And then in a week I fly out to Calgary. I feel like the energizer bunny, haha.
Oh yeah, I'll post some pictures from this weekend on my other blog.

scrabble queen!

That's right folks.
Miss Meghan Thomson BEAT Mrs Leona Willoughby in a game of Scrabble. By 4 whole points!
This is a once in a lifetime event, and I would like to say thank you to Freek for all those games this past year, leading me up to the ultimate challenge.

Also, I plan on mailing a Scrabble dictionary to the Shelter one of these days. Help calm a few quarrels, I'm sure.

I'm home...and it's my birthday!

So I'm back in the motherland after only very few hassles at the airport.
I got to visit my grandma and aunt in Toronto already...I had such a lovely time with them. My grandma was really with it...and she is seeing a lot better (she recently had eye surgery). She could tell that my dad had fallen asleep in the chair, but normally she doesn't notice. haha. And she could see a picture on the wall and tell that it was a winter scene. Also she commented multiple times on my great smile and nice figure, haha. We had a nice chat, and I gave her some stroop wafel which she enjoyed. And I got my graduation/birthday/christmas presents from her, and one of them was a Bible and she'd given me a verse, so I read it to her. It was Number 6: 24-26. So that was really special. I think she looked better and sounded better than the last time I saw her, so it was really nice.
Now I am home and it's 8am and I'm wide awake. Even though I really haven't slept very long in the past couple days. But hey, I'd rather be awake than asleep cuz there's too much to do. I already ate one of my birthday presents...GOLDEN GRAHAMS!!! Don't worry, I only had one bowl, not the whole box, haha.
Oh, I'm about to put pictures of my beautiful toastie machine here so check it out if you didn't get to see it in the Netherlands...or if you want to lust over it in jealousy...haha. The guy at customs who was going through my bags was like, "Is this a blender?" and I said, "No, it's a toaster" and he just gave up looking through my stuff and let me go. Kinda funny.
Ok, I'm done with sitting in front of a computer for now...I have to enjoy being back and celebrating my birthday! I get to see my sister today!

my toastie machine

Yes, it's true. I got a toastie machine at the farewell staff meeting on Friday. So for everyone at home...that means you're not getting any presents, sorry. (no room in my bags) But I can make you some killer toasties! I just need a converter for the plug, which apparently I can find at home. Woohoo! Maybe I'll wear my toastie t-shirt home...

Happy Birthday Goodbye Happy Birthday Goodbye Happy Birthday

Well folks, here is my official invitation.

Tomorrow night (that would be Tuesday July 11) we are having a party in celebration and devastation of Hannah's, Dallas's and my birthdays, and Dallas's and my departures.

All you have to do is dress up like a stereotype (if you live at the Willemsstraat there is a list of suggestions on the bulletin board) and it can not be yourself. Show up at Willemsstraat 33 at 8:00 (20:00) and join the fun.

I think that's all...see you there!

these last days

It's really starting to sink in that I'm leaving.
Last night Nynke and I went out for dinner to say goodbye. Only I teared up when we were saying goodbye, so we decided to find a time when we can see each other again.
This means that I will cry in staff meeting today. I really hate crying in front of people.

*very random sidenote: there were two asian girls down here and one just put lotion on the other girl's back and she felt compelled to inform me that "she's my friend. not my girlfriend"*

This is my last shift alone. My last two I'm training Arijaan for reception. Yesterday was my last CS shift. Sunday was my last cafe/sleeper shift.

The cool thing about this time right now is all the awesome conversations I've been a part of. It's always so exciting to see what God is doing in the lives of the guests, cleaners, and staff.
So when I don't think about the fact that I'm leaving in less than a week, life is great!

But the reality is that it's going to be hard...hard to leave all these people I know and love. Hard to leave all the late nights of phase 10...and silent football. (check out my other blog soon for a video of Hannah running past some cafes clucking like a chicken) No more big teddy bear adventures, no more tea parties, no more riding on the backs of bikes, no more plethora of languages...

oh, this sweet girl just said (in the cutest Japanese accent) "thank you for your kindness"

My blogs are always more random when I write them at reception.

These 4 guys just tried out their English on me. "Hi! *hehehe* How are you? *hehehe*" It was really funny.

Well, my shift is almost over and I need to help a lady with her locker. So I will post sometime later.

Wow, life has been so crazy busy lately! But in a good way, I think. It's really hard to realize that I'm only here for 10 more days (9 really) and then I'll be back in Canada. So I'm packing them very full and enjoying every single day I have. Helps that the weather has been gorgeous lately!

The other day for cleaner time we were reading about Jesus healing the man with the legion of demons. We've been going through the book of Luke, so the day before they read about Jesus calming the storm, and so when we were sitting there Michael said, "Today we read about the demon!" and Steven said, "Really? How did you know to talk about that? I was thinking about demons this morning!" so that was pretty cool. After we read the story Steven asked me if he was demon-possessed. He was very relieved when I told him that the bad things he does are because of his sinful nature, not because he has a demon. That man is so hungry and thirsty, and it's exciting to listen to his questions and help him find answers...Last night he gave his life to the Lord and wants to get baptized within a few days. I asked him why he thinks he needs to be baptized right away, and he said because he read that in the Bible and he's been hearing so much about it lately (2 staff members got baptized yesterday). All evening he kept coming up to me in the kitchen with his Dutch/English New Testament asking me, "What does this mean? What does it mean here when it says this?" so it's really neat to see him eating up the Word. But he still has a lot of issues from the past that are influencing him right now...things he needs to give over to Jesus. So pray for him, that he may be healed and set free, and that he will learn to recognize when it's God's voice speaking to him, and not some other voice.

That same day Steven asked me if he was demon possessed, Arijaan and I had a really interesting conversation with a girl named Claudia. She's a Christian Science believer, and I've never really encountered one before, so it was very interesting to learn what she believes. It's so sad, though, because she's so close...her beliefs are so close, BUT, and the but is a pretty key issue every time. I'm excited for what God's going to do in her life though, because her boyfriend is really searching (and thinks her religion is scary) and his best friend recently became a Christian which completely changed his life, so he has a good influence and someone who can show him who Jesus is and what he did and is doing for us. So keep Claudi and her boyfriend Justin in your prayers...I know God has great plans for them.

Also, yesterday Anne and Jonathan got baptized (along with 2 others from the Zolder) and it was heel mooi...perfect weather! And afterwards we (I use the term "we" very loosely) went bridge jumping. Ok, I didn't make it off the 20 meter bridge...I'm a chicken and I will freely admit it. Too much to think about...trying to maintain balance on the way down so as to land feet first while attempting to keep the skirt from flying up (hey, we were really planning on going swimming when we left that morning) and plugging the nose. Yeah, and the height scared me. I think if I could have worked up to that height from smaller ones first it would have been ok, but oh well. So Eric was scared too and we climbed back down and jumped off a little mini fence thing in the water. Not quite high enough, but the only thing between the ground and the huge bridge.
Anyways, I'll post some pictures of the baptism and bridge jumping here.

My identity as Abba's child is not an abstraction or tap dance into religiosity. It is the core truth of my existence. Living in the wisdom of accepted tenderness profoundly affects my perception of reality, the way I respond to people and their life situations...Whenever I allow anything but tenderness and compassion to dictate my responses to life--be it self-righteous anger, moralizing, defensiveness, the pressing need to change others, carping criticism, frustration at others' blindness, a sense of spiritual superiority, a gnawing hunger of vindication--I am alienated from my true self. My identity as Abba's child becomes ambiguous, tentative, and confused...The way of tenderness...seeks to see with penetrating clarity. The compassion of God in our hearts opens our eyes to the unique worth of each person. The other is "ourself"; and we must love him in his sin as we were loved in our sin.
~Brennan Manning, "Abba's Child"

gone fishing

This afternoon I decided to go fishing with Ben.
We cycled all around town and ended up at Harald's where he served us a very lekker dinner. (and I did not get food poisoning!) Then I borrowed a non-fishy heineken poncho/towel and a 7 meter long pole from Harald and we walked down to the canal.
Let it be known that while I enjoy fishing, I am most definitely not a pro.
My first hook is still in a tree.
I accidentally let my first 2 or 3 fish go before reaching the surface.
So when I felt a tug and Harald and Ben said "pull up" I did. The poor fish flew into the tree and then smashed into the cement before flopping back into the water (which all happened much to fast to get a picture to prove I'd caught anything) and I felt pretty bad for the poor thing, and for Harald's pole which kept getting caught. But it was set free, and re-baited (is that a word?) and then my little fish (named Schaatje) was found floating sideways in the water! Sad story. I did not want to be a fish killer, but I thought I might as well get a picture with the little fellow, so I got the net. And it rebooted some life into Schaatje! He started swimming a bit, which made me happy, but not so long later he started floating sideways and then upside down. Sad story, but now at least I have a picture of him...
Then I caught an eel. It was gross and nasty and I refused to touch him. His name is Oscar because it's an ugly name (ie, Oscar the grouch) for an ugly fishy thing. Ben was very excited that I caught an eel, cuz he's never caught one before, but it was extremely difficult to release him because he was so slippery and writhing. Grossness! But happier that I caught an eel and not just a tiny flying (however accidental the flying part) fish.
Ben caught a couple of normal fish, and then I wanted to try to fish with his pole. Cast it out fine the first couple times, and then (of course) it got stuck in the tree. So now there are 2 hooks (thankfully cheap lures or whatever they're called) in the tree. But at least there are some funny stories to tell.

I'm excited about prayer!

So recently I've been really desiring to pray more and deeper...so when school on Monday was on prayer and missions, I was very excited. I'm even going back today on my day off, haha. Anyway, our teacher mentioned a book called "Red Moon Rising" (which I want, and by the way my birthday is coming up, haha) and lent it to me. I have to give it back today, but I'm almost done it anyways. But yeah, it's got me even more excited.
Then last night Sarah and I went on an adventure, camping by the lake. And as we were there there were two people fighting with each other. So of course we started to pray. We were afraid the girl was going to be raped, and boy did we pray! It was so awesome and powerful...and sad at the same time. They were running away from God. As we covered the field in prayer they got on their bike and went away, but we could still hear them and see their bike light. So we just prayed even more, for I don't know how long, but they can't outrun God. I feel like this is a very unexciting rendition of our intense time of prayer, but it's really early in the morning and we just got back, so I'll write more of my thoughts on prayer after I catch some zzz's.

Michael

This morning I was chatting with the cleaners before giving them their morning chores. As I was going back inside Michael called out, "Meghan! Meghan! First, first, can I kill myself first and then make my beds?"
"Sorry Michael, it doesn't work that way too well." Haha, I don't know, we all thought it was funny.

I was driving north of Amsterdam with Susana and Maarten tonight and discovered a cute Dutch custom. When students pass their final exams in high school they hang a backpack on a Dutch flag on their houses.

heaven on earth?

Today I experienced the best of both worlds...I'm enjoying my time here in this beautiful city, and able to go to a lake (reminiscent of summers at home) at the same time. I'm a little sunburnt, but it is so worth it. I went swimming! It has been too long since I've done that, and in a lake (instead of the ocean) is so leuk! Of course, we swam to the other side and back (while leaving our bikes and things unattended...perhaps not the smartest thing to do, but praise the Lord no one touched our stuff) and we also made a synchro routine. Beautiful. I think Christina got it on video, so I'll post it on my photo blog soon.
There were some teen guys jumping off the bridge next to our spot on the shore and so we thought that would be a wonderful idea. Until Anne went around to take pictures from in the water and was standing. So we discovered that it was shallow. I jumped anyways...trying to do some sort of shallow jump/canon ball/whatever wouldn't make me die. It was quite thrilling, even if the water was only up to my chest. So I suppose that it's not quite the same as home, but close enough to make me really extremely happy.
I've also decided that if I'm ever blessed enough to own a house I would LOVE for it to be on a lake or a river (preferably a lake that freezes in winter and can be a skating rink as well). Hmm, too bad Uncle Glenn and Aunt Leona sold their house a decade too early, haha.

Barry's farewell letter

as translated by Matthieu:

To the Shelter team,

I leave this hostel and its really kind staff members with joy because of the sympathy they showed me, of all the presents and especially the positive words and prayers. All these things can only bring me to a really deep joy. In the other side, I am also sad because I would like to stay longer with you. It was a great pleasure for me to work among you during these 31 days.

I leave this place with only one regret: that I couldn't communicate with peoples as I wished because of the language problem.

The experience I have acquired is bigger than the service (work) I have done. My knowledge of the Bible had also become huge in comparing to how it was before I came here. This helps me to the Christianity differently.

I will remember the word "thank you" which was always said to me before or after my work when I only do what I have to do.

I can't leave you without asking forgiveness to everyone which I may hurt and says that it wasn't by purpose that I did it.

I say to you a big "THANK YOU" for everything you have done and have been for me and the others during my stay here. I encourage you to keep on going and do more and more.

May God bless you, Amen

Barry

i cycle quickly

Today I passed a ferrari on my bicycle.

the sun is shining!

Today we said goodbye to Jimmy and Barry. They were great cleaners and a lot of fun to hang out with. We had some good conversations. I am so thankful for what God has done and is continuing to do in Jimmy's life especially...it's so cool! And now Jimmy has Canada on his list of future destinations, and it definitely wasn't there before. So who knows? Maybe I'll see him again!
The other night we had a line dancing outreach in the cafe. It was quite fun, and while some guests (boys mostly, haha) decided to watch and laugh, a number of others (male and female) joined in and had a lot of fun. Becky also shared her testimony and it was really good. So I'll be posting some pictures and videos on my other blog soon.
Also, finally, we have sunshine again! Today at least. That is very exciting, and while it's not exactly warm, it's definitely not cold either. 15 degrees is decent. I know to everyone at home that's not the June weather you're experiencing, but I am pleased because it is so much nicer than what it's been like here recently.
I've been thinking lately of all the things I still need to do before I leave. You know, all those museums I could have gone to all year, but always put it off since "hey, I'm here for a year, there's plenty of time still." And now I'm realizing that the "plenty of time" has dwindled. I guess I'll just have to plan my days with a lot more structure than usual.
For those of you who don't know yet, I'll be flying home on July 13. It's a little sooner than originally planned, but my school is starting a little sooner than originally planned, haha. But it will be nice to be home for a few weeks to readjust a bit, and I am thankful. God really worked a miracle with the flights (also thanks to my mom for not giving up) and so that's super cool. So now, not only do I need to plan my life for my last few weeks in Amsterdam, I also need to figure out how I'm going to see all my friends in Ontario and New York in 2 weeks, haha. Oh well, I'm not worrying about that...I'm sure something will work out somehow.
We have a lot of new staff here...they're pretty cool. It's funny to realize that we'll be leaving at the same time, or me even sooner! It's good to see all the gaps being filled (we finally have enough staff...for the first time since I've been here!) and it's also nice to know that when I leave I won't be leaving a huge hole that will be difficult to fill.

pond to ocean

The adjustment went pretty well.
Only somehow we made some 130 odd euros for the City today.
Other than a few hiccups, it was quite a fun (albeit long) day.
Now I can officially say I've worked at both the Jordan and the City. Not that it really matters, haha.
Anyhow, it was fun to see Pauline again, and it was fun to hang out with their cleaners (who are pretty cool, I must say).
And it is fun to be able to tell *them* that even though we have "baby backpack" it's really not that much different, and not that much more difficult at the City, so they should stop mocking us.

jars of clay

Show You Love

Speak- say the words that no one else will ever say

Love- love like the world we know is over in a day

I'm gonna show you a love in every language

I'm gonna speak with the words that need no form

I'm gonna give you what you never had before

You're beautiful and I am weakened by the force of your eyes

So shine bright to separate the truth from the lies

I'm gonna show you love

I'm gonna show you a love in every language

I'm gonna speak with the words that need no form

I'm gonna give you what you never had before

So tie me to a tree and let the smoke and ash collect

No, I won't regret to let love do what love will let

We can drown in mixed emotions or walk across an angry sea

This is the cost of being free

My Heavenly

Let the wind fall wild across my path

Even though we barely move, there's no turning back

There is a river, there is a road, place of holy riches untold

It's where I'm supposed to be... my heavenly

I know it never feels right to let go of the safety we're used to holding so tight

But there's a lion underneath these skies

Though love cries, love will rise... my, my, my heavenly

So fly me higher, higher, hope fill me, keep me here

Love lion, my, my...

So when I'm lonely or when I'm old, life is more behind me

All the stories have been told

I can fix my gaze up through the clouds

Where I'm gonna be, where I'm gonna be... my heavenly

My, my heavenly

My heavenly

Needful Hands

For those under the clouds

Staring up in awesome wonder

As tears come slowly down

I'm reaching up a needful hand

You are my eyes when I cannot see

You are my voice, see, sing through me

You are my strength in weakness be

To find that I could fall

And still your grace surrounds, pursuing

To freely stumble down

I feel your hands around my heart

You are my strength, my voice, my eyes

I lift up needful hands

You are my strength, my voice, my eyes

I lift up needful hands

negativity

Sometimes I can be very negative. Why is it easier to complain than to be thankful? There really are so many more things to be thankful for than to complain about.
Like Ed's improving attitude. And Jimmy's response to God. And fun conversations with guests. And even making dinner, haha. With a very slippery floor. And Dallas's first experience hitch hiking on a bike. And not falling into a canal. haha. And having a boat on our kitchen roof. And not having sore legs after climbing 480ish steps yesterday. (woohoo!) And the fact that Nicole is coming back, and we're going to line dance in the cafe with the guests, haha. And the hot chocolate at the Jordan. And being goofy playing pool. And being able to escape from people when needed (unlike poor Dave in Tenerife). And almost learning Freek's tree song finally, haha. And ok, I'm thinking of a lot of things, but I don't feel like writing them down here, so too bad for you.

staff day

Thanks to everyone who's been praying for Jimmy...he got a camera today. Similar to his old one. And free. So cool!
We went to Utrecht today. It was quite fun...I posted some pictures on my photo blog, but I'll put more/better ones up later.

chinese characters

Jimmy wrote our names in kanji tonight. Mine were the characters meaning "beautiful" and "root" so I think if I ever form a band I'm going to name it "beautiful roots" or something.
Matthew was "horse" "4" "study" and Freek was *something, i forget. then* "good will" "loyalty"

Jimmy

Yesterday Jimmy's camera (and money) was stolen. He is from Malaysia, so his camera is very important to him. He handled it so well, and tried so hard to stay positive about the whole situation.
Cameron suggested that we make a sign that says "we love you Jimmy" and each of us take a funny picture with the sign around the hostels and then we'll print them and give them to him. He will really like this.
Today Desiree told him where to go to buy cheap disposable cameras, and he took the last 5 the store had, haha. Good for him. He's really happy, but at the same time, he knows that his material possessions won't last forever. I think it's a good lesson, even though it's really sad.
Anyhow, today we had 80 Dutch students come tour our house and hostels. This afternoon when they were in our cafe I suddenly heard Jimmy's voice, so I ran to the door with Tina and we poked our heads out. Here is what we heard him say (after he explained about his job cleaning here).
"It is no coincidence that I am here. I got to meet Jesus. The staff are so friendly and generous. These two months in the shelters is my most precious time of my life. I got to meet Jesus."
whoa! It is so cool to discover that about him in this way...he never said anything to us (he just listens closely in cleaner time, but rarely talks about what he's learning) and yet he tells a whole room full of people. So cool. God is so good.